Well I went back on my word
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| Fri, 07-27-2007 - 11:37pm |
So much for my "I'm never doing online dating again!". Just out of curiosity, I put my profile up last week, and thanks to Match.com and their "brilliant" plan, you can't even see who has e-mailed you unless you are a paying member! So, $34.99 later, I decided I'm going to get the most out of my month membership.
14 e-mails later, I had responded to 3 guys. One of them I have actually chatted with a couple of years ago, and he asked if I wanted to get together for a drink, but the problem with him is that he doesn't like to go out during the week because of work and working out and eating and sleeping, so on Tuesday I suggested 7pm on Sunday for drinks (the only time I could really do it this weekend) and he writes back "that may not work for me, but it's only Tuesday, so let's see.". Well, it's Friday night, haven't heard back (granted, I didn't e-mail him back after that) but if he wants to go out, I think he can put forth the effort to say "sorry this weekend won't work, let's try for next weekend".
2nd guy, we e-mailed back and forth several times, friendly conversation, then he said "I'm sorry if I'm being forward, but would you like to get dinner sometime?" so I wrote him back and said yes, I would, and gave him my phone number, and I haven't heard a peep out of him.
Seriously, now I remember why I hate doing this! I did send out a few winks tonight because well, I really do need to go on some dates and move past my old hurt and get over people that obviously don't want to be with me, but c'mon, isn't there another way?




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I have the same experiences.
Yeah, mine will be coming back down soon I think. And my absolute favorites are the ones that have not only been up there for the past 2-3 years, but have the EXACT SAME PICTURE!!! Seriously, like you haven't had a single new picture taken since then??
All that means is the picture is the ONE good picture they have. The rest are after the 50 pound weight gain, the forehead tumor growth, the vow not to use a razor, or the spiderman tattoo on their nose.
Their profiles didn't really appeal to me, and I'm past the point of just going out with anyone just for the sake of getting out of the house. Been there, done that, and I'm looking for quality over quantity.
I'm so with you with this online dating game. I addressed this issue in another post. I'm on chemistry.com which is the match.com version of eharmony. Like you, I prefer quantity over quality. So after weeding down the list of profiles, there are probably 5/15 that I want to check out. Then after a "guided communication process" comparing essentials and short answers you get to the emailing stage. First off, they may not email you even though during the short answer they manage to come across as being friendly. Then after a few emails - and even when that appears to go well, they may or may not call you. Then when you actually connect on the phone they may or may not call back. By the time you get to the meeting point still they may not call to f/u. I had one guy like in your situation (he picked me) made a date on a Monday then didn't call to f/u. I left a msg on Monday morning to confirm that he never called back.
So after all this I met in person a couple of guys. The first guy there was mutual attraction on the first meeting. He made a second date, we canceled a couple times 1st b/c of my schedule, then his schedule, Then my schedule but on the third attempt to reschedule by myself he never returned my call - I understand very well the nature of arranging a meeting b/w two busy people so I am very patient and cool about it. But some people don't want to bother - And the guy isn't all that great of a catch.
So I just wanted to let you know such is the nature of online dating. I don't understand either b/c I wouldn't waste time communicating with someone unless I'm serious about meeting them. But on the bright side, maybe the easy disconnect is a good indicator that it wouldn't work out had you gone further anyway. I really believe that. For instance the guy that gave up so soon b/c of the scheduling problem showed me he wouldn't be able to understand what it's like to be with me and be able to fit into my life. Of course when I know someone well, I would be very willing to give up other things for him but not initially for a casual meeting up.
I think luck has a lot to do with hooking up and I have examples to back that up. Just want you to know you're not alone.
This makes me feel so much better. I also recently went back to match.com. I wink at people & NOTHING!!! That is insulting & I am a catch.
It does crack me up about this cat & mouse game & why they won't update their pics. And then the people that view you look like they just got out of prison or something...lots of tats & scary looking.
I see it as it is better than doing nothing! I mean I don't drink, so I don't frequent the bars and at age 41 & still single, what the hell...right?
*SIGH*
Hi Mark,
Thanks for the feedback!
I am a female & if I send an email after a wink I may be perceived as "stalking". The way I see it is if he is interested, he'd wink back or something. :--)
Hmmm..
Liz
I know it can be frustrating. I thought about going back online from time to time but I remember how annoyed I would get at some of the particular flaws of online dating. I think it is as decent a place to meet a guy as most places and a lot of it is probably luck/fate or whatever but the problem I always had was the guy having way too many women to choose from. I had a lot of great dates and a lot of guys saying they had a great time and definitely wanted to go out again, but did I ever hear from them after the first date? Not generally but their profiles were still very active looking for other women instead of also trying to establish something with a woman they already clicked with so they would just disappear. I know of people of course who met the love of their life on there but I never quite had that luck, for me I met good guys but they usually flaked out on me.
There is one exception to that, a guy I met on Match about 5 years ago that I dated and still talk to but there is a whole bunch of drama with that even though we both have feelings for each other.
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