Since we're on the subject...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Since we're on the subject...
22
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 4:10pm

Since we're discussing what works in regards to how to get a woman's attention, maybe the women here can give me their opinion on this one...

My BF and I were discussing dating the other night. He was telling me about this time he was trying to ask a girl out who was in one of his undergrad school classes. His opening line, basically, was to tell her how attractive she was and would she like to go out sometime.

He said it failed miserably and she just sat there and stared at him.

I told him that it would be a turnoff for a guy to just approach a woman and start off by telling her how attractive he thought she was. How shallow. We want more than that.

He disagreed (even though this one failed and it's failed for him before).

So what do you think? How would you react if a guy you knew somewhat started out with "Hi. I think you're really attractive. Want to go out sometime?"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 4:15pm

I suppose it depends on how he approaches her, in what setting it is, and how he says it. If someone said that to me in class, I probably would stare at him blankly because I'd just be surprised...if I were interested, I'd think about it, but he wouldn't really have helped his cause much. I think it's just a little too brash and bold for that kind of setting.

In a bar, I think it actually does work in a weird way. To be, it's bold without being cocky, straightforward without trying to think up a tacky line. I had a guy approach me once and say that he was leaving in a few minutes (he waited until my friends had left me to go to the ladies' room) and that he was only in town for a couple days, but that he just wanted to tell me that he thought I was very attractive. To this day, I think it's one of the nicer things a guy has done in a bar setting, but part of it was that he had no expectations, he just wanted to compliment me for the hell of it. It surprised me, but it was cute. :)

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 4:22pm

That actually reminds me of something that happened to me when I was in the eighth grade, changing after gym class in the locker room.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 6:37pm

That would be a turn off for me, too. It would be one thing if it were said AFTER we'd established some sort of connection like shy said, but to just come up to me and say that? Ugh.

It's much better to say something that attempts to establish a connection first, IMO. So something about your shared surroundings or experience is best.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 6:53pm

To me, if a guy makes the effort to ask me out, it's already implied that he finds me attractive. Saying it makes it seem like that's the *only* reason he wants to go out with me.

Also, does he think he's the only one who's ever said that to her and she should jump for joy and take the date because *he* finds *her* attractive?

No, I'd say a better approach is something like "I've seen you around and I'd like to get to know you better - how about a drink sometime?" Shows that he's noticed her, but doesn't necessarily say he's undressed her with his eyes, and is more a simple approach.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 7:46pm

>Saying it makes it seem like that's the *only* reason he wants to go out with me.<

EXACTLY. That's what I said. And like Sheri said, to me, it would be a turn off and I would turn down the date.

A comment like that is only appropriate AFTER you get to know me. I know you can't SEE my personality, but that's YOUR problem, not mine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 9:42pm
For me, it would depend on the delivery. If he was someone I found attractive and he seemed sweet and sincere, it might work for me. But if he seemed arrogant and like he was just using a "line," I'd probably tell him to take a hike.



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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 1:53am

Even though I would want to ask a woman out first based on her looks, I always would talk to her to see if I felt a connection with her personality, etc. then if there is an ease between us then I would suggest doing something together.

I never would ask a woman "blind," i.e. solely based on her looks and nothing else. There has to be something more. One of my friends I met off MySpace turned out to be this gorgeous babe but I am not attracted to her because of other factors that makes her good to be a friend but not as a partner.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 2:35am
"So what do you think? How would you react if a guy you knew somewhat started out with "Hi. I think you're really attractive. Want to go out sometime?"



I'd laugh in his face and ask for the punchline, because I don't see myself as attractive.

(I did this to Mr. Pooh for the first 2 years we were going out...)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 5:36am

- How would you react if a guy you knew somewhat started out with "Hi. I think you're really attractive. Want to go out sometime?" -

If the man in question was my physical type and if I found him really hot, even if he was a total stranger - in a pub, at a gig etc - I would absolutely love it, and agree to go on a date with him - if I was single that is lol! To me this is straighforward and shows confidence and guts. If I didn't fancy him I would just politely decline, but would probably still think - brave man. To me, that is the perfect approach.




Edited 8/9/2007 5:44 am ET by yaya0788
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 9:08am
I think sincerity would be a key in this as well. I might be a little taken aback, but like Miss Manners says, if someone compliments you, the best thing to say is thank you. A lot of women launch into what-do-you-want or I'm-so-fat mode. Best to look confident. If a guy just wants to unzip your dress, you'll know pretty quick, and then you can rip him a new one.
"You're attractive." is better than "Nice rack!", which has happened to me before.

~Heather~

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