What are men thinking online? Part IX

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
What are men thinking online? Part IX
Thu, 07-24-2014 - 12:24pm

I suppose nothing really surprises me online. It's bad enough that we get men in wife-beater undershirts (or less) taking cell phone selfies in their bathroom mirror, but I got an email from a guy and in his profile was a first for me: him posing with a dead ram he had shot. He had his rifle laying over his arm and was holding up the poor animal's head. Eeech.

I freely admit that hunting is just not my thing. I'm not completely against it, but I don't want to see dead animal photos. I also don't see myself with an avid hunter. But that's just me. This man was otherwise educated and had a professional job. But then, when I read the profile, he had two references to sex. Now I'm definitely into sex, but I'm not a fan of bringing that up in either your profile or a first email. It's off-putting, no matter how delicately you phrase it (and his wasn't delicate).

I suppose a good rule of thumb for men when contacting women is to think: would I say this to a woman if I were meeting her at a cocktail party? Would you walk up to her, whip off your shirt and say, "I like making love all afternoon."? Would you go drag a dead ram into the room and show her? Or a dead fish? So, just a little friendly advice to men who may not be getting replies: check to make sure you have your clothes on and there are no hunting photos or sexual references. Just don't go there. It might help your chances.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 07-24-2014 - 1:11pm

I think the hunting photos would not phase people in certain parts of the country where hunting is a common activity.  Since I've always lived in urban areas I don't really know people who hunt.  Even a lot of people I know who fish throw the fish back instead of eating them.  So I just look at that as a difference in hobbies or taste, like some who post pics of themselves with their motorcycles and some on their boat or skiing or whatever.  The sex thing is different though--unless someone is on a site that is primarily just for hooking up, you would just hope that the guy would act more like a gentleman and try to make a good first impression.  But then again, I have had a guy I was just dancing with in a bar (and not even close dancing) ask if I would go home with him and I didn't even know his name.  so some people just don't have any class, whether in person or on line.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 07-24-2014 - 2:55pm

It is interesting that those inclined to sex are not inclined to others who would be honest.  I wonder is that because of the culture we bring women up in?  Are women afraid of admitting(liking sex) or is it they way it is transmitted? 



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 07-24-2014 - 3:51pm

I think it is more the way it is transmitted and the "when."  I have no problem admitting to a man who I've actually met and liked (and dated) that I enjoy sex, but I'm not really looking for just a casual hookup.  I do not find it good manners to start talking about sex with someone from OLD who I haven't met yet--when guys start off that way, it gives the impression that they are only looking for a ONS and not someone to date, which might not even be the truth.  You know how you say what you are looking for in the categories on OLD?  Well if the woman puts that she is looking for a relationship as opposed to just looking for sex, then you shouldn't start right off with the sex talk.  Since you are also talking to a stranger, it will also make a woman kind of afraid of being raped.