What are you looking for?

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
What are you looking for?
Tue, 12-04-2012 - 3:22pm

  What are you as a single looking for?  Does the stage of life make a difference?  What did you look for or want when you were 20,30,40 50+?  Did some things change?  what?   Social,economic,philosophically what changes if any occurred?  Today what are you looking for for your life?


Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 6:42am

xxxs wrote:
<p>  What are you as a single looking for?   </p>

companionship, connection, compatability and adventure.

xxxs wrote:
<p>    Does the stage of life make a difference?   </p>

Yes. Now that I'm in my 50's and have no interest in rearing any more children, it's important to me that whoever I'm with isn't looking for someone to have his babies and raise them; I don't do the cougar/babysitting thing, so I don't think I'm in any danger of attracting to me someone young enough to want all that mess.

xxxs wrote:
<p>     What did you look for or want when you were 20,30,40 50+?  Did some things change?  what?   </p>

20's-someone to save me from boredom

30's-someone to take care of me

40's-someone who understood me

50's-someone who doesn't need to be all up under me all the time

xxxs wrote:
<p>   Today what are you looking for for your life? </p>

Peace of mind, peace in my home, being able to do as I like.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Tue, 12-04-2012 - 10:50pm
I want to be married and have kids. I want to love someone who loves me. I want to respect the man I'm with, and for him to respect me. I want a partnership. I want to come home every day, eager to see the people who are there. I want to go to sleep each night next to someone knowing I'd choose him all over again if I'd have to. I want to be happy, at least most of the time, and I want to know that if I'm not, I'll be happy again soon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 12-04-2012 - 9:16pm

I'd like a dating relationship with one person where we are exclusive but I don't necessarily have to live with him--maybe that would be ok, but I doubt I'd get married again.  When I was in my 20's I was never that desperate to get married.  I had just turned 25 when I met my 1st DH so I wasn't old enough to start having that worried feeling.  We got married 2 yrs later.  I wasn't in a hurry to have kids.  When I turned 30 I felt like it was time to start.  But since I've already had the marriage & children, it's much easier to say that I don't need to get married again.  I can see why the women here who are in their 30's still home for marriage & children.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 12-04-2012 - 7:37pm
I think I want what everyone wants, just to be content with my life and to be as happy as possible. If someone comes along who can put up with me, great. The only thing that's really changed is I've become more self aware and I hope I'm less selfish.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Tue, 12-04-2012 - 3:32pm

Excellent question.  As far as relationships go, when I was 20 I was looking for someone to complete me and I didn't want to be alone.  I had the immature notion that it was someone elses job to see to my happiness and being alone seemed like the end of the world. 

Then around my mid-20s I started to see the flaw in that thinking.  I've been happy alone (maybe not 100% of the time, but that's normal) and am working on achieving goals to enhance that happiness.  Now at 30 I want a relationship that enhances my already fulfilling life.  I'd like him to be at the same stage I currently am and feel as if he still has more to do professionally, academically, socially, financially, spiritually, mentally, physically, etc.  I'd like things to work out so we shift into whatever stage comes at 40 together.


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