What a bummer again...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
What a bummer again...
Thu, 09-06-2012 - 3:21pm

Last weekend I met a guy for lunch from one of the dating sites.

The lunch went well as we both chatted and laughed  a lot. He then asked if I wanted to go to the beach and so we went. There was no parking so went grocery shopping instead and then went home.

He texted me afterwards saying he had a good time and next time will take me for some special food.

We texted back and forth many times on trivial things like food. That was last Sunday.

On Tuesday I texted him once and he responded.

Until now nada.....


This guy  is 8 years older than me but looks younger. I like this guy. He was friendly  and chatty with the the service people. I like his strong  work ethic. He told me that at one point he was working 3 jobs.

Finally I met someone who I like  and nothing happens... so I am kind of disappointed.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
Thu, 09-06-2012 - 9:41pm
This was also a holiday weekend so I'd say the fact that he was replying to you at all after only one date is a good sign. If he wasn't interested then he wouldn't have been so chatty during the holiday weekend. With the short work week and multiple jobs he may have quite a bit of catching up to do. I'd say wait for him to contact you. Yes that means you stop initiating contact, you've done enough of that and the ball is in his court.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 8:25am
I did not text him again after that.
I figured if he wants to go out again he would contact me.

It is not easy to finally meet someone that I like.

He currently has a full time job and works a second job every other weekend.

He used to work 3 jobs before.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Re: What a bummer again...
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 1:25pm
There is actually a guy that I met, he disappears and then contacts me about 3 or 4 weeks later.

He has not taken me on a real date yet. all we do is go for a walk on the beach or go biking. So I am wondering why he bothers.

If he is not into me he should leave me alone.

I am not that into him either. If he calls me up and I don't have anything planned, I go otherwise I decline.

what's up with this kind of guys.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 8:11am

I have no idea what "those kinds" are thinking.  I can only assume that they are either ambivalent about forming an intimate relationship or they are non-monogamous serial daters.  It could be both.  I've also been given the "I'm so busy" excuse in the past.   


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 9:45am

I have no idea what's up with this guy, but I had a similar situation and I found out 18 months later that he had a girlfriend at that time but wanted to keep in touch.  When he broke up with the GF, he asked me out.  (Keep in mind I did not know this until well after I went out with him.)  So I guess in his mind, he wasn't cheating, just "networking" so to speak for the future.  It makes me laugh (now, not then.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 7:09pm
This guy lives at home with his widowed mother and a late forties single sister. From what I hear, he goes on day trips with his mom and sister quite frequently.

He only asks to go swimming at his gym where it is free for me as his guest.

Looks like he enjoys spending time with his family more than trying to get a gf.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sat, 09-08-2012 - 7:12pm
Your story reminds me of a guy who I met once. When I asked him how long he has been single, he said he has :checked: out of the relationship. Meaning when we met he was still with his gf but checked out.