What did I do wrong???!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2005
What did I do wrong???!!!!
3
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 2:39pm
ok, i need to vent and I am so confused. I dated this guy for almost 5 months and all of a sudden he stopped returning my phone call and text message? I left a message for him last week and nothing. It is a clear sign he no longer wants to date me but who does that??!!! Who ends things like that? I feel like I did something wrong but I have no idea what I did??!!! Unfortunately I choose not to see all the signs that were glaring me in the face during the time we dated, "I'm really busy with work", so busy that he could only see me once (maybe)a week?!? And it was usually every other week. He never really asked about me that much and the one friend that did meet him said he seemed very self-involved. ouch! How could I have been such an idiot???!!!And if he just wasn't that into me, then why put forth the effort and continue the relationship as long as he did? uuughghghgh - please tell me I am not alone here........
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 3:55pm

You didn't do anything wrong - don't beat yourself up. It sounds like this guy wasn't really ready for the commitment and responsibility of a relationship and bailed.

You deserve someone who at least has enough cahones to tell you that it's over rather than just disappearing like that. Better yet, someone who sticks around and treats you really well. I know it stinks, but we definitely have all been there to some degree.

Also, please try not to say things like "I'm an idiot." The more you say negative things like that about yourself, the more you will believe them. You are not an idiot -- you liked a guy and took a chance. You got hurt. There's something very *human* about that - not idiotic.

Hang in there, hon!

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 7:37pm

You may have already read this but this is the first thing I thought of here:

"The person you loved took a good long look at the awesomeness that is you, evaluated your relationship together, and said, "No, thanks. I'll try my luck elsewhere."...Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as disposable is not worthy of your time or tears."

(from "It's Called a Breakup Because it's Broken")

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-09-2006 - 3:44pm

You didn't do anything wrong...I had the same thing happen to me, but after a year and a half! He finally contacted me last week almost 4 months after he disappeared to apologize for hurting me by disappearing...that helped but didn't make up for nearly 4 months of pain he caused.

The only thing you did wrong was choose the wrong guy! But next time, you might pay more attention to the signs and break it off yourself rather than waiting for him to do so (and I'll be trying to do the same!).

Sheri