what to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2006
what to do?
2
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 4:02am

(I thought I submitted this earlier, but apparently not.)

I am annoyed by this. Would like some input on how you'd handle the ongoing issue of this.

I have a guy friend. He's only a friend. He dated someone I work with before I knew either one. They only briefly saw each other and it was casual. So, now, she out of the blue annouced it one day, she's given me the sordid details of his divorce, told me he's not capable of a relationship, and the final straw was that she dropped a bomb that he's gay. At first, I believed her, but after about an hour of thinking about it, it seemed a lot more like she has a problem with me being around him. I tactfully asked him about her. I only mentioned the dating part. He filled me in on the rest. He said everytime she's around him she practically rapes him (his words), and that finally to get her to back off, one night, he told her he was gay. It backfired. She showed up the next day, wanting to discuss it at full length.

So, while I don't work with her face to face, day after day, I do have to communicate with her + we're in a same civic group. I have stopped talking to her at all except for business. I thought about mentioning it. I am not a coward and afraid of her, but she'd twist it around and blow it out of proportion. I just don't feel like I can trust her at all. Anyone have to deal with personal and professional stickiness mixed together? Help!

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: maxtobias1
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 5:39pm
I'm not sure where the problem lies? He did tell her he was gay so she's not spreading malicious rumors about him. Some people just like to dish. Makes them feel important. Pick your battles well. I personally would leave this one alone. Like you indicated in your post, she may blow it all out of proportion. You could end up with more trouble on your hands than the issue is worth in the first place. Sounds like your handling it well thus far. She knows you're friends with this guy, she may be messing with you. If you react, you may be giving her exactly what she wants ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: maxtobias1
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 4:30pm
I'd say keep your conversations professional and leave it at that. You don't want to get in the middle of this, and it sounds like you don't think of her as friend material anyway, so nothing lost by doing this.

AJ, enjoying life with C.