what do i do??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
what do i do??
Sat, 08-30-2003 - 7:47pm
I've been single for about a year and a half now. I've dated, but nothing serious. My last relationship was for 4 years and it was very abusive. It took me this long to get over it.

Well I started a new job last week. My boss brought me in to meet everyone there, and one guy caught my eyes. My boss introduced me to him and that was it. Well I've been training at a different location then where i'm going to be working. (I start at the location where I'm going to be working Tuesday. Let's just call this location O.B.) I went to o.b. on Wendsday to help out a little with their work. He was there and was so cute. He said hi and kind of hung out with me and the other guys for a little. Then I had to go in on Thursday to fill out some paperwork. He was the first person that I seen in the office. We talked a little and he hung out with my boss and me until he had to get back to work. I had to go do some more training at the other location, but I went back to o.b. later that day. We ended up leaving at the same time so we chit-chatted in the eleavatior then he walked me to the door. I'm really into this guy, but I don't know what to do. Here I am starting a new job, and how would that look. I'm not the type to go and ask someone out. Plus I don't know anything about him at all. Seriously, I don't remember his name. What should I do. We connected right away, and honestly he's one of the nicest guys that I've met in a while.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: lisa5577
Sun, 08-31-2003 - 10:11am
Hi Lisa! This is what I think. Be friendly with him when you see him. Smile, make eye contact, and keep doing what you've been doing. Ask him his name again. You may think that sounds bad b/c you've already been introduced to him, but it actually tells him that you plan on talking to him enough to need to know his name.

If he's available and interested, he'll take the reins. Just be sure that he knows you're receptive. Flirt a little, touch his arm, etc. If you see him sitting by himself at lunch, sit with him. The little things add up, and unless he's a complete moron, he'll realize you're interested.

Good luck, and let us know what you decide and how it goes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2003
In reply to: lisa5577
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 2:16am
I agree with the previous post. I would say just take it easy and let time pass. It may be hard because you don't want to miss the opportunity to get to know him better, but you also don't want to sound too pushy which may turn him away... At the same time, you need to be sending him signals that you are interested in him by smiling, eye contact, flirting, etc.

I don't have more advice to give but I wish you good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
In reply to: lisa5577
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 2:12pm
Myself, I'm a little wary of on-the-job romances. Too often, as a woman, you can lose your credibility--the old "she's only working b/c all she wants is a husband"--and I worked far too hard for my career to risk it. And there's always the break-up factor involved--and more often than not, it's the woman who suffers more, if she doesn't just get up and leave "the scene of the crime" (ie, the job).

But if you insist on pursuing--I've always been in favor of waiting for the man to approach you; that way you've ascertained his genuine interest in you. Right now you're going on supposition and wishful thinking; let HIM take the initiative by approaching you first. If he doesn't, then he's not interested ENOUGH--and in which case, why waste your time on a wimp like that?

Other than that, be friendly--but let HIM do the walking toward YOU. By and large, men are NOT shy, and if they're interested, they'll let you know. If they're not, then why do you want a man who doesn't want you?