What do I do, feel, think...do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
What do I do, feel, think...do?
6
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 4:15pm
This guy who is a singer sang at a college function years ago. I never introduced myself to him but with the flyer from the event I managed to find another guy who played with him that night. So I emailed the guy asking about his band and information. It turned out that the guy I was interested in was not a regular player. So anyway I email the guy for a little while and then I stop. I start feeling bad for pretending to be interested in him. So anyway he continues to keep me in his emailing list and one day...I was bored at this wack internship and started perusing his email addresses that he included in the email and I find a name that sounds familiar. So I email the address saying "I fouond your email in my address book and I was trying to figure out where I met you" He emails me back saying we never met He is really nice. So I tell him that I think that my fictitious roommate who uses my computer probably put it in my address book somehow. Anywho he buys it and we have been emailing each other for three years. we have never met although we exchanged pictures. but i am thinking...should i tell him or should i just take it as it is?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 4:46pm
interesting dilemma...

on the one hand, you could meet, and risk being completely unattracted to him and end up wasting a perfectly good fantasy.

or you could keep things as they are and risk never having a chance with a really great guy.


me, personally, i like to choose reality over the fantasy. of course, i'm really good at coming up with new fantasies, so i have less to lose...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 5:03pm
I think you need to find a hobby. ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 5:14pm
that's just rude and obviously you have nothing better to do(just like me) than to post replies to my original post. so unless you are going to helpful you can not write.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 6:18pm
Actually, I mean it - if you're going to invest all this time in a fantasy, why not evaluate whether there are better, more productive ways to spend your time?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 7:38pm
okay that i can deal with. it actually makes since in a helpful way. i guess my thought is today he acknowledged that we are friends in an email. and i feel like do i have a right to his friendship on any level? it is not as if i have been emailing him for a month or not as if i do not do other things. it is just that i have been emailing him for 3 years and i am starting to now feel like damn. have i been a good friend
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 7:42pm
I don't think typing to each other, without consistent, in person contact is anything other than email penpals - if you want to call it friendship, fine but if you want to know whether there is romantic potential, for that you need consistent in person contact for at least a few months. Anything else is fantasy, IMHO and a waste of time.