What do I do now?
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| Mon, 08-13-2007 - 2:46pm |
Hi all!
I think I’ve gotten myself into a messy situation. Let me tell you what happened. I’ve been seeing this guy for about six weeks...well, if you can call it that. It’s been up and down because he’s so busy…we’ve only been out twice, but talk on the phone regularly. I thought he was too busy for me, and had decided that I wouldn’t be with someone who couldn’t make time for me. He works a lot and has children. Well, yesterday, we spent the day together. One thing led to another, and we ended up having sex. Today, I feel like I made a mistake because I don’t know where it will go. Honestly, I still don’t think that I can be in a relationship with him. I do know that I don’t want a purely sexual relationship. He was very sweet and wanted to cuddle afterward…not that this means anything, right? Now that I’ve done this, what happens now? I don’t want it to be a situation where we just get together to have sex. He’s asked me several times if I’m ready to be in a relationship. I’ve said that I’m ready, but not sure if I’m ready for all the drama that goes with it. I think the truth is that I don’t know if I can be in a relationship with HIM. Why didn’t I just stop before things went too far?? Because it had been so long (nearly two years) since I’d been intimate with a man…I just felt like I could do it and be ok. Guess I was wrong.
What do I do now? Tell him that it was a mistake? If I do that, he may never speak to me again. At the same time, I don’t have the right to expect more than what we have, since I’m not his girlfriend. Sex does not equal relationship…I wanted my next time to be with someone I was in a relationship with. Now, I’ve gone and messed things up.
Help!

Well, nothing's changed so far as the amount of time he has to spend with you, so if you don't want a partner you only see once in a while (whether casually or not), then you go ahead and end it, not because you had sex but because the two of you are not compatible in a very important respect.
Sheri
Hey ^_^,
You say its a messy situation, but its not really. Lets see how to possibly work this out:
Sounds like you got yourself a long distance friend here. So you two spend the day together and you ended up having sex. Maybe it was a great time you had and things did lead this way, but dont feel worried so much about it. You know what you want out of a relationship and sex itself just ain't it. Communication is the key to solving many things...even a situation like this.
So he asked you if you're ready for a relationship and you said yea. But did you ever really say you were ready for a relationship with him?
=If you did then communicate how you feel about having him as just a friend. (If he leaves then oh well, his choice.) Don't let that get you down. Many more friends to be made in the world.
=If you didn't say "with him", then you're on the safe side. Because its "up in the air" you can say.
Next time just try not to let it happen again. If you do want it to happen where you are with someone and not in a relationship, then you'll know how to deal with it.
Take Care,
-M, 24
P.S. Play it safe also, too many buggers out there.