What do I think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2006
What do I think?
20
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 8:00am
There is this band, I’ve seen them 3 times (those married have a great reputation and I haven’t seen them flirt). The second time I went, the drummer was only looking at me the entire night (eventhough I was with my boyfriend at the time) I moved across the room, he turned his head and was glancing at me. That was a 6 months ago, last Thursday I went to the show (I’m single and went to 2 female friends), I was placed sitting 2 tables away from the band; I walked over, introduced myself and the drummer had all smiles; I realized he recognized me. I was sitting left of the stage, and as he played, he turned his head left and kept glancing at me. Then as I was in front of the stage, he was glancing and staring at me for at least a few seconds the entire night. After the show, while waiting for a cab with my friends, they started to pack their gear; he went inside and my friends were walking to the cab, I paused, look back and saw him walk out, he walks towards me, gives me a hug and a kiss…we spoke for a few (turns out we’re from the same neighborhood) and I asked if it would be too forward of me to give him my e-mail address; he said it wasn’t being forward at all. He started to tell me why he moved from our neighborhood and said that we’ll talk more about that later. I gave him my e-mail, we hugged each other tight, gave each other a kiss on the cheek and as we were letting go of the hug, our arms were still holding on while sliding off…to the point where we were holding hands as we were walking away. Having said all that, there was apparent interest...but it’s Tuesday and I haven’t received an e-mail. Is this a guy thing or was he just not interested?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 9:26am

Well, he could be not interested *enough* to email you, but it's only Tuesday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2006
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 10:27am
Thank you so much for replying. I thought he was interested when he started to talk about his father and their family moving and then said “we’ll talk more about that later”. Since it’s Tuesday and this happened on Thursday…when do you guys usually respond? I did check their website, and I’m heading to their next show with my co-workers  If he acts the same way, then it’s safe to assume he’s interested?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 10:35am
Well, whether he's interested or not doesn't make a difference if he isn't making a move!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2006
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 10:43am
I see what you mean. Men! Why can’t things just be simple? Thanks for the advice and for clearing up my confusion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 11:36am

I need to take my own advice sometimes, but honestly, it's a lot more simple than we make it out to be sometimes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 11:52am

I think the only sure-fire way of knowing a guy is interested in asking you out is when he actually asks you out. Everything up to that point is just passing the time. That sounds more depressing than it is meant to, but I think it's true. Unless he's dialed the number, or sent the email as the case may be, and you have a date on the calendar then your time is still better spent not worrying about it. I know that's MUCH easier said than done.

As far as the simplicity of it all, a guy would probably argue that it is simple. If he asks you out, he's interested.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 12:23pm

I agree with Lesley and Stacey. I have made excuses for guys before -- hoping that he's slow in calling or asking me out because he's shy, or busy, or so overwhelmed by my beauty and charm (ha ha) that he can't figure out how to dial the phone or put two words together.

Much more often than not, it's not worth the agony I put myself through because the guy turns out to be not "interested enough."

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2006
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 12:30pm
Thanks everyone! Everyone is right. There can be a million excuses I can make. What I plan to do is go to the next show; he obviously knows me and we made our acquaintances. If he doesn't ask for my number then I know that he's not interested enough. Ahhhh, but I sure loved that attention he gave!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2006
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 12:47pm

Hiii, I'm Jen, new here. I agree with everyone who replied. Let me reitterate that the waiting should be fun and full of anticipation don't let it get you down.

You don't want some desperate bumbling idiot who's going to email you 5 mins after you leave the place, that is no fun! Mystery and intrigue are fun. Handsome mysterious men are sexy and he is a musician?! Whoo hoo talk about sexy and intriguiging. (Until we find out some they are idiot imposters lol).

This is the stuff that good late night girl chat with your best friend and salon talk are made of! He will email eventually or better yet let him know what he has been putting off and go to that next show looking like a million bucks!!! Bet you get a phone number exchange next time.

But above all enjoy the flirting and the fun of possibly starting something new. If it doesn't work out then move right on to the next handsome mystery man!! There are many of them out there worthy of fun, beautiful women like us.

Everythang is Everythang
-Jen
xoxo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 2:45pm

I think that's a good plan. Going to another show reinforces your interest -- he should know the door is wide open at that point, and the ball is in his court.

(sorry for the mixed metaphor, but you know what I mean). :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

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