What does sex have to do with respect?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
What does sex have to do with respect?
31
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 3:40pm

When it comes to either casual sex or sleeping with man they’re dating really soon after they started seeing each other, it seems that most women are dead set against it. When asked why, they say that they don’t do it because they want to be respected.

That makes no sense to me. Why would you fear being DISrespected? Why is respect even an issue? You might as well be saying “I don’t want to sleep with him too soon because I don’t want him to think I’m a space alien.”

Are you afraid of being called a “whore” or a “slut”? Because I have never heard a man (who wasn’t a 50 year old Evangelist nutcase) complain about a girl sleeping with them too soon or being too promiscuous. No man has ever said “Ew, you want to sleep with me ALREADY? What are you, some whore?” In fact, I’ve rarely ever heard a man use “whore” or “slut” as an insult, and when they do, it usually has nothing to do with the sex life of the woman they’re using it against.

So that said, why are so many women against casual sex or sleeping with a guy they started seeing right away? Why can't they be happy that they can, at will, find almost any willing sexual partner who's willing to leave it at sex and not bring in any entangling drama or complications?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 12:41pm

Many

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 12:44pm

Why would you want all the time, energy, effort and drama of a relationship?


A relationship with the right person is not supposed to have "drama."

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 1:04pm

>>>there's nothing you can do about it except keep fishing around for someone who is more liberal about it.<<<

So like I said, where do I go to find girls who are interested in casual sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 1:24pm

>So like I said, where do I go to find girls who are interested in casual sex?<

They have this club and they meet up every third Tuesday of the month to discuss casual sex.

Seriously, try a bar.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 2:03pm

And then the whole oxytocin thing, which makes it biologically difficult if not impossible for many women to have casual sex!

You're so kind to try with this poster--you already gave him a very thoughtful answer to the question he asks in his latest post in this thread but apparently it was a total waste of your time, since it sounds like he didn't bother to read it!!!

Sheri

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 2:16pm
I'm beginning to think that he has some sort of wager going or something . . . "let's see how many responses I can get to the exact same question" . . . like it's a game.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 4:46pm
What oxytocin thing?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 9:45pm

What do you mean, what oxytocin thing?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 10:11pm

Oxytocin is a hormone that encourages monogamous behaviour. Animals/people with low oxytocin levels are more likely to persue multiple sexual partners that animals/people with high oxytocin levels.

Still though, NONE of the women here have made an exception for ANYBODY? NONE of you ever had a one night stand or a friend with benefits?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 10:32pm

Yes I have made exceptions - and I'm 35. And those exceptions have only been made since I've hit my middle 30s.

(I will also say that it completely sucked. So no more of that nonsense.)

Back in my 20s I was interested in LONG TERM, so there were no "hook ups" or FWB. It's been said on a previous post, if you want FWB or a one night stand, you should go for the older women.