What if you really tried?
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What if you really tried?
| Wed, 06-07-2006 - 6:52pm |
Do you think that if you really set your mind to meeting a great guy in a given time period, you could do it?
| Wed, 06-07-2006 - 6:52pm |
Do you think that if you really set your mind to meeting a great guy in a given time period, you could do it?
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sorry to drag up an old post but when I initially wanted to reply I couldn't find the link I was looking for. While on a recent vacation I saw a sign on the side of the road and I wanted to remember the web address it gave... apparently it took me a couple weeks to remember it specifically... but tonight it came to me...
I know THIS isn't what you were talking about... but I DO think this would work FOR what you are talking about! :p
"Do you think that if you really set your mind to meeting a great guy in a given time period, you could do it? I've read things that claim to get you a man in a certain amount of time, and I've always been skeptical."
Yes... click here... www.menseekingmarriage.com
Happy hunting! (I mighta signed up if I weren't in the situation I'm in right now! :p )
Do you think there'd be anyone in KC in our age range?
I'm kind of like you, biochic, in that I can get along with just about anybody, and I usually like most men very much and get along with them on a more casual level. But when it comes to "me" on a deeper level, I think
I get along with just about everyone so it's really hard to tell for me if I really like someone more than a friend sometimes because there are things about everyone that I admire and I see the good in a lot of people and I enjoy talking to a bunch of different personality types. I guess or I hope I'll just know when that person comes into my life. I know for a fact that I haven't found him yet or else I would still be with that person. I guess trusting myself and my decisions is something that I'm still working on especially when everyone around me keeps getting married and having children. I wonder what the heck I'm doing but honestly think I'm on the right pathway. It may be the path less travelled but it's the one that I believe will lead me to the right one eventually.
But isn't luck usually a result of having put things in motion toward the desired result?
I mean people say good luck when you search for a job, but it is the networking, sending out of resumes and going through the job interviews. Finally a position is accepted which isn't exactly what you are looking for, but is a good fit and has potential to evolve in to a fulfilling choice.
People say good luck when you look for a house to buy, but it is the networking, letting the realtor know what you think you want and looking at many, many houses. Finally, one is chosen which meets the critical things on your list, 80% of the wants and has the potential to become your dream home.
Yes, the lottery is random and it is not something you can work toward using goal-setting methods, but securing a relationship is. A goal is merely writing down a dream and setting a date to achieve it. The great thing about goals is they are always evolving as we learn more about ourselves.
Initially, the perfect guy goal may be tall, dark, handsome, great income and drives a sexy car. In five years, it becomes taller than I am, skin/hair tone drop off the radar, good-looking in a self-confident way, successful career moves, responsible financial record and drives a car which is well-maintained. Now-a-days, I am looking for a man who communicates well, is self-confident, is successful in his career, is financially responsible and is willing to be a bonus-dad to my girls.
I think part of the struggle with dating now-a-days is this idea that there is the perfect match out there, there is a soul-mate, there is someone who has all the exact characteristics I think I am looking for and there will never be any conflict or work to my marriage.
What if we change the rules of the numbers game? Instead of meeting as many new guys every week as we can, we pick 5 from the ones we know and are along the lines of long-term possiblities and "date/court" them for a year. Get to know them at more than a surface-scratching level. Watch them move through the cycles of their life for an entire year. But don't claim any as a boyfriend and no sex... they are only acquaintances. Then, one year from today, make a decision about a long-term relationship with one of them. (Kind of along the lines of The Bachelor, but instead of stranger to lover in 10 weeks in an exotic setting, it is acquaintance to long-term possibility in 52 weeks.)
There is no perfect match... identify in broad terms what your 5 critical requirements are... these are the things which you absolutely cannot live without or will not tolerate within your life-long relationship. Negotiate the rest or agree to disagree. Imagine if you marry a carbon-copy of yourself how boring life would be. One of you would be redundant.
Edited 6/17/2006 11:53 am ET by withrespect
Thanks, biochic ... it's strange, with my girlfriends my personality does not seem "out of the ordinary" but with guys (at least once I'm well into the relationship), they seem to think I am "unusual." But I do think you're right that there are guys out there who will be
"Do you think that if you really set your mind to meeting a great guy in a given time period, you could do it?"
No. I know that there are plenty of women who try to do it, and fail. I think what works better is if you just don't care. It seems, the more you want something the less likely you are to get it.
"However, do you think if you vowed to do all the things you know you need to do and make meeting men (or women) a priority, you could find someone compatible by the end of the summer?"
Possibly, but I'm not really caring about that right now.
"What do you think you'd need to change to make that happen?"
My lifestyle. Men want a woman who's smart, confident, ambitious, and self-reliant. I'm not really any of these (especially the latter two). I also think that people don't want to be with people who are disabled. I'm disabled.
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