What is meant by "more of us than them"?
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| Wed, 02-01-2006 - 3:49pm |
Hi guys,
I've been lurking on a couple of boards for awhile and have heard the following sentiment repeatedly.
- There are more single women than single men and therefore men have the upper hand.
I've read it from both single women and men who sound misogynistic. One man actually stated that there were more married men than married women in the USA! Well then, perhaps we US-based single women should try to steal away the men married to women living outside the USA? Just kidding, but it does represent the attitude I've noticed.
I simply don't understand how this could be. Unless you live in a war torn area of the world, or in a country where female babies are killed, the number of single men and women should be about the same, right? Is it that there are fewer men than women who have a stable life and are therefore relationship eligible? I find this hard to believe, at least in the USA, where men on average make more money than women. There should be appoximately the same number of never married/no kids men as there are women as well.
Just wondering what other people thought. I haven't exactly dated extensively, but have recently been working up to making more of an effort and am trying to educate myself on the situation.

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According to the rough statistics below, the ratio of men to women varies by age bracket, but are roughly the same. These numbers do not account for the number of single vs. married folks.
http://www.worldpress.org/profiles/United_states.cfm
These particular age brackets are huge (15-64 would cover most of us here).
Some posters might be referring to smaller age groups, and fewer eligible men within a particular age group, but I think your point stands. The ratio of single men to women can vary based on region as well - say Alaska vs. California. However, as a nation, it should be pretty even.
Interesting question -- it's inspired me to do a little more digging on the subject. But, I agree, I am not about to give up hope because of some stupid ratio. All I need is one man. :)
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Okay, I admit I don't have any hard numbers to back this up, but this just doesn't seem right. As a guy, I have been looking for my one lady for years. I have lived in six different states. I have networked. I have traveled. Dag-nabbit, I have done a lot of things to find a woman. I have always asked my male and female friends, "Do you know anyone?" I can't tell you how many times I have heard this in response, "Everyone I know is married or seeing someone."
Sure, my evidence is anecdotal, so I must be right and the statistics are clearly wrong. It seems so hard to comprehend how so many people are looking and just not finding each other. Has anyone ever tried looking over here??? Hello!!! I'm right here. ;)
Everyone I know says the same thing - guys and gals. Apparently, we are all looking in the wrong places.
This is also why online dating has become such a gold mine for marketers who promise to do that searching and finding for us. Apparently they have discovered the little-known secret to finding "the one" while we all have been beating our heads against the wall.
By the way, I have not had any more people say hello on the street, in the store or elsewhere since that last post. I hope that one friendly guy in Denver was not a fluke. I'm telling you, it sounds cheesy, but if more people was just *bleeping* say hello, we wouldn't be in this predicament. ;)
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I don't know about the numbers, but my opinion is that there are less men looking for women in their same age bracket.
Having trouble finding "chatty" people? You should hang out with me... everyone talks to and flirts with me. The bum outside my office, the 17 year old at the bagel shop, the hippie playing guitar for change on the corner... they are all SO chatty and nice! They must love me!
Kidding. I know what you mean. Normal or eligible men rarely make conversation, it seems.
LOL.
I get all the men over 60. If I'm alone in a restaurant or coffee shop and there's a guy over 60, it's inevitable that he'll come over. If I could just work that kind of magic on the 27-38 age bracket, I'd be golden! :)
I had a 17-year-old stop me on the street recently. Ha ha. Flattering, but, jail bait.
I agree with shy, I guess we are all out there looking for different things.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Oh, don't EVEN get me started on all the "much older" men!
I hear you about not keeping up with the fashion trends and the latest, funky haircuts. I have more of a classic style, and I wear things that look good on me and feel good. I will never be in "Vogue" -- honestly, I don't care. It also means I'm not materialistic, and I consider that a good quality. Guys who are looking for some cookie-cutter type off a magazine page are not likely the guys who would keep my interest long-term anyway. :)
I guess it always does seem like our "target audience" (guys 20s-30s) are looking for something different than what we are.
BUT, I do think there are men out there looking for what we are. Someone will come along who thinks your long curly hair is the sexiest thing he's ever seen. :) More importantly, he'll realize that you actually have a personality, values, dreams, etc that match what he's looking for.
Here's to being different! I'm glad that I don't fit a stereotype or norm, aren't you?
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Okay, I thought I'd weigh-in on this older guy looking for a younger woman thing. I hope I get out of here alive. ;)
I am 37. Yes, I have looked at younger women. Yes, I find them attractive (physically). Heck, it is no secret our culture has become obsessed with youth. I would like to share a recent experience.
When I moved to this very small town I knew no one. After a week or two I met some people. They were older and nice, but not in my dating range. (50s and 60s) I asked if they knew people in my age range. At a local dance one of those 'older' women introduced me to a group of young ladies. They were all vert attractive and in their early twenties. Naturally, as a guy that likes women, I sat down at there table and began to get to know them. After less than 10 minutes I was looking for a reason to leave the table and rejoin my older friends. The conversation with these girls was painful. (Yes, they were girls and not women.) It was about completely meaningless drivel. It was also shallow and mean. Much of the ten minutes was spent bad-mouthing other people. Not much time passed before I excused myself to use the bathroom and never went back to their table.
We all know a lot of men like to have younger women, but those men are probably not the kind of guy you want. If they don't want to be challenged by a woman their own age, then I doubt you would be challenged by them.
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