What is up with men?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
What is up with men?
5
Sat, 03-15-2014 - 10:14am

I have had one date with a man on eH.

He asked if we could go out again when my college work permitted. I told him when I was on spring break, and he said that worked great because he was traveling up until that time and we would plan to "do something fun".

I did not hear from him, so I decided to send a quick text asking how his travels were. He got back to me saying he "was playing catch up at work this week". Did nto ask me to go anywhere, or do anything for the weekend.  I was disappointed not to be asked out, but I barely know him so I don't it personally.

Then I wake up this morning, and he had sent me a text after 11pm asking how my Friday night was. Seriously, a man in his 40's texting me at that hour. Really. And he is a business owner. And I don't mean he has a lawnmower and says he owns a landscaping business.

Beach

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 03-15-2014 - 10:49am
My guess? He was hoping you'd answer and were still up, and he'd eventually ask to come over and "hang out" or "cuddle". It's like there's a script out there somewhere that men follow, because I hear the same things over and over (they say them to my friends too). I just roll my eyes and go back to sleep.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Sat, 03-15-2014 - 11:58am

SIgh.  One more reason I don't want to do OLD again.  But of course, this happens in real life, too.  I am fed up with all of the Peter Pans and overgrown frat boys.  It's like these guys never learn to act like men.  Not to tell you what to do, but I would next this one.  Texts late at night are a sign of disrespect and immaturity.  Unless, of course, you are in an ongoing relationship.

Every day I see or hear confirmation of why I have pretty much thrown in the towel on men/dating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Sat, 03-15-2014 - 2:18pm

Definitely overgrown frat boy! He responded today and told me he was out with his friends. Now he sent me a picture in his huge St. Patty's Day hat and getting ready to hit all the Irish bars in the area.I told him I was meeting a couple of gfs from college for dinner tonight. I will not be drinking because I have a huge study session tomorrow.

He said I should bring my friends down to the oceanfront after dinner to meet with him and his friends. I was polite and told him "if I had a wild hair in me". I can understand since he had his first child while at college, his wife left him to raise his two daughters (he sent them to an awesome school). He did the dad/mum duties himself and now they are grown and have gone to college. But this is not what I am looking for at this time.

I partied hard in my college days up until I was 36 years old. Now, I am enjoying being an adult who does not wake up with a hangover.

Sigh...

Beach

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Sat, 03-15-2014 - 2:20pm
Shywon - Thankfully I was so asleep I did not even hear my phone!! Beach
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 03-15-2014 - 3:42pm

I don't see anything that terrible about sending a text after 11:00 pm on a weekend night esp if the guy knows you were out.  Now I would see something terrible if he texted you at 11:00 pm and then said "do you want to come over?"  Sorry, but that's a booty call and you need to make plans not just expect someone to be available on call.  I do think it's good that you didn't respond though--then he'll get the idea not to make a habit of that.

As far as the St. Pat's day offer, I don't know.  Now since you have only met him once, you don't really know what he's like as far as how much he drinks and whether he'll be a drunken idiot.  I am a very light drinker and I don't have much tolerance for people, esp. middle aged guys, who drink a lot and act stupid.  And since you have to study tomorrow maybe it's not the night to go out late.  In my area, St. Pat's day is a really big deal for some people.  I'm not Irish so I haven't really been into it since college.  But last night I was at a friend's house and she loves going to the parade and she's in her 50's and not even Irish--it's just a tradition that she's done since she was a kid and she meets up with a bunch of people--and they probably have parties later.  My other friend, in her 40's, ran with her family in the St. Pat's day 5K race this am, dressed with a shamrock headband, and they will probably have a party later.  I'm older but sometimes you just have to take a chance and have fun--if you're with friends and have your own car, you can leave when you want and if he's too drunk or you don't like his friends, then you don't have to stay.  But you might also be missing out on a good time too.