What not to say to single women

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
What not to say to single women
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 7:36am

Yeah, work's been a little slow lately. I saw this article on HuffPo "Single Women: What You Should Never Say To Them" http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/08/single-women-dating-advice-relationships_n_2317139.html

I really liked one of the comments which sums up how I feel:

#11, don't suggest I could meet men if I'd volunteer, join clubs, go to bars, hang out in public places, etc. Do I look THAT stupid that you don't think I've tried that? I did it for years without meeting anyone. 

I'm certainly no hermit, but if I have something better to do on Friday, I'll do it, not arrange my entire life around Meet Market.

Yes, I've tried online dating, 10-15 years ago and again currently. No responses when I sent Flirts, and only 3 men have messaged me in 3 months, none of which even progressed as far as a phone call. 

A male friend was convinced that someone who looks as good as I do had to be doing something wrong, so when I visited, he offered to set me up on some dates. My next to last day, I pointed out he hadn't sent me on a single date, and he sheepishly admitted that when he sat down and thought about it, he actually only knew 3 single straight men: one's an alcoholic, one's a penniless illiterate, and one's 1/3 my age. Then he was more willing to believe that I never meet men who my friends wouldn't slap me upside the head, What were you thinking?!?!

If you REALLY want to be helpful, set me up with one of your single male friends. You don't know any, either? Then why are you so surprised that I'm not meeting anyone?

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 10:32am

I get really tired of the comments that assume I haven't thought of something. Not just with dating, but with everything. It's like they think we're still children and we have to be guided. Like we just don't know so in their coupled wisdom, they must tell us. Honestly, I really think the pool is rather dry, even in my thirties. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 10:36am

I'll have to read the article later.  I think it's a lot more difficult to meet people as we get older and the number of people who are single declines.  All the events I go to, which aren't necessarily singles events, but have a lot of single people there, like dances or meetups--there are always at least twice as many women as men,  You'd think it would be heaven for the men but I don't know what they are doing.  I know a couple of guys IRL who I know are on OLD for a long time but never seem to ask anyone out--or maybe they do & it just doesn't work out.  I know I just got tired of OLD--I can't bring myself to do it any more.  If a guy contacted me who seemed 1/2way decent, I'd probably respond, but I got tired of making the effort of reaching out first only to hear no response.  I just live my life as if I'm not going to meet anyone, which is probably the truth, but try to go out & have fun anyway.