What to put on a dating profile?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
What to put on a dating profile?
34
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 4:17pm

I'm a part of a few online dating sites and in my profile or about me section, I've put down that I live at home with my parents, don't drive but use public tranits to get around, currently looking for work, not interested in having kids, and I also suffer from anxiety, have dealt with pain and loneliness over the years as well.

So is that good to put down on my profile/about me section or is it bad? I think it's ok because it's getting everything out into the open instead of dropping bombs on certain things. What do you think?

I'm asking this because I noticed that when guys talk to me online or over the phone they talk to me once and then I never hear from them again or they talk to me maybe 1-2 weeks later. So what am I doing wrong?

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Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 4:56pm

My philosophy is that you want to cast the widest net possible but still give someone a sense of who you are. I don't think that includes letting it all hang out in your profile or even on your first meeting with someone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2009
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 5:55pm
I am no expert, and there are some pretty knowledgable women here... how old are you? Nearly all the things you wrote would put up major red flags for any self-respecting adult male. Being dependent n your parents anf public transportation is fine if you are under say 22? Otherwise that would be a red flag. Your emotional issues should never be broadcasted.
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 6:19pm
I'm agreeing with the others. That's just too much to put out there on the Internet for perspective dates to see. I'm guessing the guys who contact you haven't read your profile or they would have been scared off too. Tell about your good qualities. And if you can't think of any, you're not ready to date yet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 6:37pm

I'm 24 and I've tried getting a job, I've applied everywhere but no call back, no interview, I've followed up and called them but still nothing. So only work I am doing is freelancing and the magazines I do write for don't pay. Also whats wrong with living at home with your parents at my age? My neighbor is like 25-27 and she's still living at home, I was even talking to a guy who was 26 and still living at home with his own family. So I don't see much of a deal there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 6:51pm

Hi

Well? Its pretty challenging but I have sometimes used the phrase.. When you change the way you look at things; things change. Dr. Wayne Dyer quote.

So in saying that you dont have to tell anyone where you live right away or until you are in an exclusive relationship. Its really no ones business...

You could say you live with other people which is true and not a lie.. I knew a guy who lived with his parents and said they were his roomates..

Get creative about what you say.. You do have a job but you just dont get paid..

You do look for work and that sounds positive..

Just leave out the lonliness part and just say you are shy but working on it..... Turn things around to sound more positive... As I said change the way you look at things and things change.

Oh; and there is nothing wrong with taking the bus..or train. A ton of people do it..

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 7:15pm
I look at online dating profiles as a marketing tool like my resume when I look for work. This means I put down what I think others would be interested in knowing about me and what are the great things about me.

As a guy who scans the dating site profiles, I don't look for women who bother to post that they live with their parents, not working, don't drive, not interested in kids, or suffers from anxiety.

I look for women who have similar activities and interests, engaged in life, have humor, and are intelligent.

If you can describe what you enjoy and love to do, what interests you have, what you like to read/watch. Of course having great photos is key in getting noticed.

Mark
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 7:41pm

The things you are listing are likely to guarantee you do NOT get any dates, dear.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 10:31pm

As the others said, you want your profile to get guys to be interested in you--this is not going to do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 12:05am

Thanks, I updayed my profile and it's ten times better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 12:06am

Thanks Mark,

I updated my profile and it's better.

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