What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
What should I do?
5
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 6:03pm
I'm new to this board, so please go easy on me. :)

I'm 28 years old and I recently met two men and I am interested in them both. One guy is very sweet, smart and has a lot in common with me. He has been a complete gentleman to me to date. He also offered to help me with a situation that I will be facing soon.His problem is that he goes days without contacting me, yet he seems interested in me as well. It's a casual thing, so I'm not expecting that much at this point.

The other guy is also very sweet, and he is pursuing me much more aggressively by contacting me more. He has also been a gentleman in most ways, yet he did not walk me to my car the other night (he lives on a dark street and his city tends to be unsafe at times). I also have some questions about how upfront he has been with telling me about his job and other things. I thought I had my decision made, but now he has sent me roses to try to cheer me up about my problem (a health issue).

I don't want to hurt either one of them, as they are both good people, but I feel awful about leading one on. I haven't had sex with either one of them, so that is not an issue. I just need some advice about which one I should pick. Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 12:20am
Thank you for your perspectives on this. I am actually leaning toward the first guy, simply because I feel that the other one is moving too fast for me. But, again, I don't want to toss out a great thing if the second guy is indeed a wonderful person and Guy No. 1 turns out to be a dud.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 6:50pm
What I would do is make a list of pros and cons for each guy and then compare them. You could give each guy a point for each "pro" quality and subtract a point for each "con" quality. Then after you do the math, you find out which guy comes out ahead. Iri
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 6:18pm
Hmm...that's a hard decision. Is there a reason why you have to pick? Are you ready to settle on one?

If you are, I'd go with the first guy. It seems like the second guy is setting off your radar for some reason.

On the other hand, I know how irritating it can be if a guy doesn't show the interest you'd like.

Hmm..maybe you should just wait to pick!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 6:17pm
easy. the first guy. you don't want a guy that calls you every day. neither do you want someone who buys you roses so early in the relationship (he's trying to buy your love).

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 6:16pm
Why do you have to "pick" either one of them at this point? Why not continue dating them (and a few others, since neither seems perfect for you)? Unless you're lying to them about not dating other people, spending time getting to know someone so you can decide if you want to have a relationship with them is what dating's all about!

Sheri