What we object to most in others...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
What we object to most in others...
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 3:19pm

There's a saying that the behavior we object most to in others is extant within ourselves. This has the corollary that what we admire in others is also within ourselves.

Last night, Mr Smith called. I explained calmly and sweetly that I felt neglected by his lack of communication and erratic contact. I talked about what I need in a relationship and he seemed to be listening to me. I've invited him to go ahead and stay with me on the nights of the 7th and 8th, and told him he may well end up in the guest room, which he seemed OK with.

This morning, I was working for a few hours on a project that I love, so I was feeling exuberant. He had hosted a charity fundraiser at one of his homes last night so I decided to call and see how it went. I asked how the event went. I asked how his speech went during it.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 3:50pm
Maybe it's not that you aren't listening to others, but that you aren't listening to YOU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 3:33pm

I am so sorry that guy sounds like he isnt good for you.. I had a guy once who seemed interested in me but he never asked me anything about me.. He never asked what I liked to eat or where I went or what kind of friends I had.. Nothing, zero, nada.

Now all of the books I read and the love gurus say that someone who likes you and is interested will ask you about you and that is the bottom line..

I am wondering why you are even having him over when you know what the outcome is ..