What would you do????
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| Wed, 07-18-2007 - 10:24am |
Once again, my plans have fallen apart because my BF is an idiot. So a few questions...
Have any of you here ever been to Mexico? If so, where did you go? Did you rent a car or take taxis or buses? What did you think of that experience and how difficult would it be to take a trip alone?
Long story short - this trip has been planned since about June. My work vacation time has been reserved since about February. This is the ONLY three weeks I've had off from school since December. We have airline tickets and hotel reservations.
My Ph.D educated, world-traveled, university professor BF, who's supposed to be smarter than I am, NEVER BOTHERED to check HIS work schedule and now can't go on this trip. And I can't change my work vacation time due to the amount of people who are already scheduled to be off.
I'm so mad at him I'm thinking of taking this trip alone without him. Or just canceling all together and going somewhere else.
He's apologized but it's feels hollow, like it's no big deal to him. And I know that I could just put off this trip, but I was really looking forward to this - I guess I'm just disappointed more than anything. HE'S traveled. HE'S getting to go to New Zealand in December (to visit his family), and I've never been anywhere like this and I'm having to probably cancel this trip and sit at home because he can't plan ahead. So yeah, I'm pretty mad at him.
So any thoughts? Anyone been to Mexico? Is this a trip a single woman could make by herself?

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I had this whole post typed up yesterday about this relationship... but once I finished I decided (even though you asked) I didn't have a right to tell you what to accept in a relationship.
Personally, what your BF has done and is doing would NEVER fly in my house. It's a matter of priorities to me and he made a huge statement by putting you on the backburner because the school changed start dates - that's not YOUR fault. Maybe I don't understand the workings of a university professor!? But even still I think my importance of priorites would still stand.
Nonetheless, the other example about going to visit his family and YOU having to decide if YOU want to pay to go visit his family and not for the amount of time he is... well... doesn't seem to me you're being considered yet again!?
I'm sorry emdeesea! But it sounds like you are taking the short end of the stick and this isn't happy vs happier - this is NOT good enough! :(
I hope you DO go on the vaca and ENJOY your time! You deserve it!
Edited 7/19/2007 11:01 am ET by luvmansbestfriend
I agree. I thought this was a one time slip up too. But since he's been inconsiderate multiple times, I think it's time for you, emdeesea, to re-evaluate this relationship and ask yourself is all of this headache worth it? You seem like a bright, intelligent lady so I don't think settling for somebody who's not putting your needs first is wise or healthy. His inconsideration of your feelings and taking you for granted is just going to escalate and escalate furthermore until you grow to hate him. BTDT so I know of which I speak.
But emdeesea, it's your relationship. You have to decide how much you can put up with. ;-)
I still say, go to Cancun and have fun! Who knows, when you get back you may have a new found outlook on all of this.
Edited 7/19/2007 11:17 am ET by ivil_mami25
Edited 7/19/2007 11:18 am ET by ivil_mami25
So... what happened with this?
I don't even see that you've posted on the board since this (and its counterpart) thread!?!?!?
Did you go on your trip? What about the professor and that relationship?!? I saw a post from you on another board from March... it was rather interesting and reminded me to see how things turned out.
Let us know - if you will!
Oh all is well with this.
I told him I wasn't angry with him since it was just one of those things (I do wish he would have checked his schedule in advance though), but **** happens and that I would go without him since I put down a lot of money and could not get it back.
Soon thereafter, he managed to convince one of his teacher's assistants to cover the first class that week. I told him not to do it if it was going to jeopardize his job, but he said it was cool - they don't do anything the first class anyway but cover the syllabus and take roll.
So all turned out well. In two weeks from today I'll be drinking a margarita and smoking a Cuban cigar. (I don't even smoke but I'm going to this one time.)
I'm glad it worked out for you.
Yeah, we're both going.
I did think it was funny. I had originally suggested if it was possible that one of his TAs could cover for him. He initially said that wasn't possible. But then, when I said "Oh well, I'm going without you then," then suddenly he was able to find someone.
Oh well... coincidence or not - I don't know. But yeah, we're both going. And I'm so looking forward to it. I need a holiday soooooo bad.
that's GREAT - you guys are going to have a fabulous time!
Good for you chickadee!!!
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