What would you do?

Avatar for schnappsers
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Registered: 03-26-2003
What would you do?
11
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 8:50pm

I have sort of an unusual situation that I'm not quite sure how to handle.

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Avatar for floridagirl52
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Registered: 10-16-2006
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 6:40am

Well, it is rather flaky. I'm with you: couldn't he have taken 5 minutes? I tend to get annoyed with people who are not courteous and direct.

It just makes me wonder if he has some kind of conflicted feelings about getting together with you, but doesn't know how to say it, but maybe it has nothing to do with that.

I think I'd respond. I'm not sure I would question him about his behavior if you do get together. But if this type of thing happens again, I would be inclined to drop him, and may possibly tell him why.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 9:35am
I agree with your friend...he doesn't really deserve a response (at least not immediately). It takes just a few minutes to give someone the courtesy of canceling a meet. The issue with his dad is sad, but irrelevant. It's crazy that he thinks he can casually blow you off and then months later show up again. I agree it's nothing to be mad over in any way, but I wouldn't be jumping to replan anything with him. That's just me. What do you think you'll do?
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Avatar for schnappsers
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 9:41am

Well, one thing is for sure....he won't be getting an answer quickly.

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Registered: 01-17-2002
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 11:06am

Hey there Schnappers!!

Ugh-- what's with people? I have an ex who's like that too. And I always give in and go back. Why?? I think it's because I'm the nice girl. Wish I wasn't.... but alas I am!

I agree, sit on your hands a while- if you feel a response is necessary (and something you want to do) in a couple of days, then respond. In an email too (IMO- keep it the same 'form' as J)....

I'm working on not being so nice ;-)


~*~ Best Wishes for 2010 ~*~

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 11:31am

Well, the first time my dad got sick and I got a call that he wasn't going to make it through the night, I had the time to call my mangagement office to tell them I wouldn't be in to sign my lease renewal and to call the doctor's office to cancel an appointment the next day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 12:25pm

I am filling in a LOT of blanks, but . . . . ok, he is a stable, nice good man? (I am assuming his issues are lack of professional drive, but he otherwise was a good man to spend time with.)


If I do consider that he is one of the

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 2:22pm

Actually, you made some very accurate assumptions!

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Registered: 07-13-2007
Sat, 10-20-2007 - 4:56pm

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 8:15am

Okay it was rude for him not to call and no matter if 55 posters in this thread had the foresight and respect when someone in their life was dying to call people to telling them, they are not him. It really could just come down too that he didn't, he could have gotten the call, gotten caught up in the moment and one thing led to another and forgot about the date then when he got your message the say the next day about the date smacked himself in the head and thought oh my gosh I am such a boob and then didn't call further due to feeling like a boob. I have a fantastic guy friend, who went out with a girl friend of mine, whom went out on a date with her, whom when the AHL hockey team was out of the playoffs had to go up and work with the NHL team on a moments notice because they were still in the playoffs, literally not even a days notice, he didn't have her phone number with him, it was in his office at the arena. So they go on their date and two days later he's flying off to the NHL playoffs, she's back home pissed off that he's not calling her, day after day getting more upset. The playoffs are over he's still not calling. Why? Because by the time he gets back he assumes she's pissed off (rightfully so because she was) so he doesn't call now because he figures he already blew it, what IT was going to be. My guy friend is the nicest guy you can ever meet, would give you the shirt off his back and you could call him at 2 am and he'd be there to pick you up, he didn't intentionally forget her number in his office, but after 3 weeks + of not calling her after the first date figured it was a lost cause. And trust me she made him pay for 6 months once hockey season started, she was brutal to him. He was probably right not to call her. She wouldn't let it go.

I think you can decide to forgive the guy and cut him some slack, or say you don't need him in your life, but make sure it's your hearts decision and nobody elses.



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Smile,

Deirdre

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-21-2007 - 9:06am

Sounds like you're in a unique position to give feedback on this one.

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