What's the deal with online dating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2005
What's the deal with online dating?
6
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 4:18pm

I am totally new to this online dating scene. Honestly it makes me nervous. I met this guy on Plentyoffish.com and we have just been talking on MSN for 3 hours. He seems really awesome and I am looking forward to talking to him again and even meeting him. How do I know if I have hooked a creep or a catch? And at what point do you initiate an actual meeting? Should I wait for him to? I guess I just have this idea in my head that guys using online dating are creeps and are looking to take advantage...(so why you ask did I create a profile well because my friend did and I thought well he isn't a creep so they can't all be creeps.) My friend met this guy online last year and he is a total jerk but she thinks he is great. The guy can't rather doesn't want to keep a job and he scams her out of money. So I guess I am afraid of the same. Any tips anyone? In part as stupid as it sounds if it works out I am a afraid of the judgement from people if I were to tell them how we met. I know online dating has become far more acceptable than it was years ago. Or has it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 6:36pm

Almost every single person I know has tried online dating at least once, and they are all good, normal people. Yes - it is a lot more mainstream.

Check out the online dating board for great advice:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlcyber

Look for the "#1 Red Flag" thread for good ways to spot a creep.

iVillage also has lots of articles about online dating: http://love.ivillage.com/snd/sndonline/topics/0,,4tdv,00.html

From my experience, let him initiate the first meet. I am all about letting the guy show that he can make an effort. If he wants to IM or e-mail forever, then he's not really worth my time.

Also, BE SAFE. Make sure the first meet is in a busy public place during the day.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 10:00pm

I've met several men through online dating and none were creeps or complete jerks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 6:26pm

Hi

My advice is to take things slowly. Chat as much as you can on IM and see how things progress. Even if you meet face to face you can’t guarantee that he's not a creep. Only time will tell. There’re are some good catches out there and online dating has defiantly lost it’s "un cool" label.

LB

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2005
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 6:50pm
well i can understand your creeps comment...however..my X hubby met his second wife online. and 8 months later they were married...and 2 years after that to the very day of their wedding anniversary...SHE ran out on him for another guy she met online. GO figure...its not always the men, dear kheta. Just be careful, anywayz.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 10:37pm

I completely disagree.

Avatar for bluebird1234
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Sat, 01-07-2006 - 12:30am

Hi there. You won't know if you've hooked a creep or a catch until you meet in person. After doing the on-line thing off and on, I learned that it's best to meet in person relatively soon. That way you are not wasting time talking with someone who is not really your type, or there is no chemistry.

Also, its very easy, when you first start online dating, to think you have met "the one" and fall hard. Like shy said, chatting/talking for a long period of time without meeting creates a false sense of intimacy. If you aren't dating in person, you aren't in any kind of a relationship.

I see online dating as just one more way for single people to meet, in addition to all the other ways. As a matter of fact, I met my boyfriend online, and we have been together for 9 months! Most of the time I'm honest when people ask where we've met, and most of the time, the reactions are positive.

I say, try it out, just tread carefully, and don't get your hopes up too high! (And yes, you do need a thick skin for online dating!) Good luck!