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| Wed, 06-22-2005 - 1:49pm |
Hello!
I am looking for some insights/opinions on a situation that I probably already know the answer to, but here it goes.....
I've been 'dating' this guy for a little over a month. We've gone out about 5 times. Last weekend and the weekend before he had to be out of town, although we did have dinner mid-week last week to catch up. It's Wendesday and he still hasn't asked me out for this weekend and I haven't even heard from him since Monday. We usually email once a day - he never calls me, says he doesn't like the phone, but I usually get an email.
I usually let him email me, but I don't want to email him anymore. I feel like he's not "working" hard enough for this relationship to turn into anything. Granted - he is moving away but just for a few months then returning.
The last time we emailed he said he was sorry he's been so busy and I said I understood - especially with him moving, i didn't expect we'd get to hang out anymore but he assured me that we definitely would be hanging out.
Thoughts?
Malena

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Ok, sorry hun....but, sounds like you are the other woman. If he does not like phone calls...to me, that is a HUGE red flag. And mainly cuz they don't want you calling their house and their wife or other SO answering. I would run as fast as you could.
Jenn
Have you called/emailed him?
But it goes both ways.
You can try and come up with all the "what if's" but to be bluntly honest with you I agree with the other person who said that someone who claims to be too busy is just not as into you as you are into him. If he really was into you he would find a way to squeeze in an hour of his very busy or hectic schedule to meet up for a quick bite to eat or maybe a quick walk just to spend time with you especially if he is going to be leaving soon.
You slept with him pretty early on (I believe on your second date) so he might just be talking to you to pass time and get sex from you as often as he can before he leaves but he is not looking for a long term relationship with you. The one quote that is very true and pertains to your situation is one written by Erica Jong and it says "Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't.
Another big red flag is the fact that he claims to not like talking on the phone and he rather email you. That type of communication is very impersonal and it is a way to not get too emotionally close to you but still have you available when he wants sex.
>But it goes both ways. If you're really interested, you'll call him too. It's nice to be pursued, but we have to show the guy that it's working. Otherwise the pursuit seems pointless.
I think the fact that Malena slept with him is a very LOUD and CLEAR message that she is in some way interested in him.
But women lose interest after sex, too.
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