What's with "Men" These Days....
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| Tue, 01-24-2006 - 8:15pm |
Here's my situation. Out of a recent (short) relationship with a guy for two months. We had a lot of problems from the start and I eventually ended it because of his odd behavior. He never invited me to his place, he only called me from his car, only texted me when he was home, did not want to buy condoms but was okay to wear them if I bought them..... All this stuff that were huge red flags for me. Recently, he wanted to get back together ( I know, I should not have even talked to him). But for some reason, I did miss him. There was a lot about him I did like. Arrrggg. Anyway, I told him I did not know if I could get back with him for all the reasons listed above. To make a long story short, he ended up texting these horrible things to me. Example, "I have seen less zits on a teenager", "my dumb ass did not pass the test", "my dumb ass was not worth supporting", and etc. For "cleanness" purposes, I won't even tell the worst of what he told me. Most were horrible sexual comments. I obviously will never talk to him again.
This past weekend, my friend of many years was leaving our comapny, so we threw him a party. Of course, all of us were drinking and it ended up being this huge gathering of people who used to work and still work for our company. I had a few too many drinks and started to cry about the jerk listed above. Not because I missed him, but because he hurt my feelings with the aweful stuff indicated above. I was talking with my friend privaltely about why I was crying and he thought it would make me feel better, by telling me how attractive I was. Then all of a sudden, he kissed me! He's married and just had a baby! I don't even know how to process these past two weeks. What is up with men and will they ever change???? At this point, I am so disgusted, that I would almost prefer to get myself a dog and just call it quits with men.

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I just read the rest of your post...
So what you are saying is that women are self-centered and the only reason men want them is for sex? Well, I cannot disagree more with what you said. I find as a single, modern woman, that we are not willing to marry the wrong men anymore. Women used to marry men, in order to have a provider, but that is not the case anymore. We can take care of ourselves with regard to supporting ourselves. We might come off as more "selfish" but we're making better decisions on who we marry. If you look at the trend of the women who married for convenience, as they got older and more mature, they ended up divorcing the wrong men.
I think if you were to ask the women on this site, you would find that we want marriage, family and to be great moms. But we're not willing to get involved with men who are not worth it. I cannot speak for all of us, but it's the point I am trying to make.
As far as the sex goes, we want it too. And believe me, there are men out there who do care about the woman, more then just the sex.
Please correct me if I read your message wrong. It does happen, you thought I still missed the jerk I was with, but I don't.
mandel and kcole -
I think you both have good points. and I do agree with the "philosophy shift" but I don't think it's just with women. I think it's with our entire generation. There is a philosophy these days that we can have it all - and shouldn't settle for less. Having it "all" isn't possible but so many new age thinkers want us to believe it is possible. Therefore, men are thinking they are all entitled to a 5'10" size 4 blond and women are thinking we are all entitled to a sensitive and compassionate man... it's not just men or women... it's EVERYONE! Until we ALL learn to see the heart of the opposite sex and love them for who they are... we'll continue searching and coming up short!
>>Believe it or not, men have needs too, and I think there is a growing sense among men that there are not many women out there willing to try and meet their needs.<<
If that "growing sense" is really true among men, that makes me sad. I think there are plenty of women out there who are still trying to meet all the needs of men, sometimes to their own detriment. Most of us - or maybe I should speak for myself ... *I* certainly know that men have emotional as well as sexual needs. When in a relationship, I expect the giving to happen on both sides, and I always give it my all.
I think the war of the sexes needs to end. We *all* (men and women) need to stop pointing the finger at the other side and playing the blame game. Once we start labeling each other that way, the odds of finding common ground and healthy relationships goes way down.
To your own point... it sounds (at first blush) like you might not be trying to find the best in women, either. It always goes both ways.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
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