whats wrong with me???

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2002
whats wrong with me???
1
Fri, 06-09-2006 - 12:56am
i feel so weird writing this. i dont know whats wrong with me. Im 21 years old and college senior. i am home in nyc for my summer vacation, trying to get a job. I dont know if its the boredom, but i feel sooo lonely.
I dont know if its because im being picky, but i used to date without a problem, when i used to actually live here. Now, I am so uptight. I dont know what it is that i need to change, or do, but i have never been single for as long as i have been now. I've been single for almost 3 years. I dont wanna make a big deal, but i rarely date. It's too confusing for me. It seems like every man comes with a set of rule, and i dont like to feel restrain.
I feel like im soo young, and losing out. I go out, but the men at the clubs seem soo horny. I actually want a companion. What's going on with me?...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Fri, 06-09-2006 - 8:51am
Hello there.
From your post, I can't see that there's anything wrong with you. There's NOTHING wrong with wanting a meaningful relationship as opposed to a roll in the hay. The problem, however, lies in the fact that you're not dating at all. It's going to be a bit difficult to find the guy who's right for you if you don't put yourself out there. Have you figured out why it is that you're uptight? If it's because you seem to always meet guys who seem like they're only after sex, then, I'm sorry to tell you that there are lots of those kinds of guys and, sometimes, it's damn near impossible to avoid them. You just kick those to the curb and move to the next. Also, there are places other than clubs where you can meet men. Many (not all) people who go to clubs aren't there to find a girlfriend/boyfriend; they may be looking for a "good time." You should broaden your horizons, maybe volunteer, take up a hobby (tennis, hiking, etc.) Someone told me that it's easier to meet people when you're in a situation where you can strike up conversations without it being obvious that you're trying to meet a man (i.e. the club). I wish you luck. There's nothing wrong with you; you're like millions of other young women who aren't about just "having a good time" with a guy. You just have to be patient with yourself and get out there.
Mali