What's wrong with me

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
What's wrong with me
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 4:18pm
I split up with my boyfriend of 8 years two months ago. We were engaged and living together so it was a REALLY nasty split. Now I'm beginning to date again. I'm usually very outgoing, loud and talkative when I am with my friends, but whenever I go on a date I suddenly can't think of anything to talk about. I freeze up and I've had a few awkward dates like this. This is really out of my character. I don't know why I am having such a hard time having a conversation while I'm with guys. Maybe its nerves. Any thoughts on this? There's a million things to talk about. How can I get over this? This has never happened before? What do you talk about on first dates?
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 5:09pm
I don't think there's anything wrong with you! I think you're just getting back into the swing of things. When you meet the right person, you won't have the problems that you're having- the conversation will flow and it won't feel uncomfortable. I usually try to come up with something unusual to talk about- maybe something that I've done recently or plan on doing. It makes me memorable!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 1:01pm
I find that if there is chemistry the conversation flows and if the man has a similar sense of humor to mine it is fun. We talk about travel, friends, family, music, books, work, relationships in general, dating, the people at the next table, our goals, current events, books, articles we've read, theater, etc - it sometimes takes a while to warm up - I don't think loud and talkative is particularly attractive - what I do think works is being a good listener and approachable and friendly, and making sure you don't find yourself doing more than half of the talking in general - especially if you are nervous and tend to go on and on it is a good thing to be aware of.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 2:23pm
You said that you were engaged and had been dating for 8 years previously well that is a long time. You have been out of the dating scene and your just a little rusty. It takes a few dates and time to get your date mode back. Plus after such a long time with one person that I am sure you felt totally comfortable with now your sitting across from strangers so you might feel more shy and reserved because your out of your routine of being with the ex. No need to rush it. Besides it might not even be you. Like the previous poster said if it's not with the right person conversation may not come that easily so relax and don't expect to much and more than likely you'll have a good time!!