What's your reply??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
What's your reply??
15
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 2:05pm
Hi everyone I posted before and thanks for your responses...my question is, how do single gals handle the question "so are you seeing anyone?"

I have to do a family function this weekend...at it will be my 22year old sister who always has a boyfriend, and will bringing one, and my 20 year old brother who is bringing a date. Me at 26, seems to always be single, and somedays I couldn't care at all, other days it I'm very sensitive and can almost be brought to tears.

What's a response that gets people off your back (especially older relatives who you can be rude to!!)? So I don't break down into tears,when asked for the millionth time.

Thanks so much

Amy

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Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 2:11pm
When you're dealing with relatives, you have to be a little more tolerant of this type of question. I would usually be annoyed and think it's not any of the other person's business. But, in this case, I'd probably just tell them "no one special" or "not at the moment" and quickly change the subject.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 2:17pm
I don't know if I read this response on this board or on another board, but I have heard that one of the best answers to that question "so!! are you seeing anyone?!?!?!" right off the bat, is to simply respond "I've been fine, thanks for asking."
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 2:35pm
I always reply, "You'll be the first to know when that happens." If they push, I just repeat the same response until they stop.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 3:10pm
My responses:

Why do you ask?

Yes, her name is Stephanie.

Yes, actually we have a conjugal visit tomorrow as long as he gets out of isolation.

Yes, can't you tell - don't my highlights/hairstyle/haircut look great?

Before you got married, how often were you asked that question, and how did you respond?

Just you, for now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 3:17pm
When people, male or female, ask me if I'm seeing anyone (supposing I don't want to date the person who's asking), I tell them "No, I'm not". The usual follow-up is "why?" or "do you want to go out sometime?" or "my friend thinks you're cute" or whatever, to which I then respond "I'm Single, not Available". That usually stops people from prying when I don't want them to =)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 3:19pm
haha, ROFLMAO! Conjugal visits.... LOL...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 4:51pm
"I have so many goals and plans in my life I haven't got time to appropriately compromise my successes for the needs of a partner. Until I get the time, I won't pursue a relationship. It's not fair to me, or them."

And if it's not true at the moment...make it your reality with your future actions, decisions, words, and pursuits!

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-03-2003 - 6:51pm
I hate that question. I just tell them no. I had that question the other night and just was straight forward w/the fact that I slept at some guy's place . . . hopefully they picked up on that and they left it alone. When I am - I'll let them know - just leave it alone!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-04-2003 - 8:32am
What's worse, when people ask this... or when they stop asking? I'm a doctor, and I used to hate it when people said:"You look too young to be a doctor" but then it got kinda eerie when they STOPPED saying it...

I'm sort of visiting this board right now, I suppose as a "possibly soon-to-be-single" person... and to be honest I sometimes feel like I don't know if I should ask my single friends if they're seeing anyone or not. I try not to ask too often, but on the other hand I feel like if I don't ask at all it'll make them feel like I've written them off, or think they're some kind of leper who "obviously" wouldn't have met anyone... I mean, the natural thing is to ask about that kind of news, so if you don't ask its like you're singling them out as "beyond hope" or something....

On the other hand, although I've been married for over 10 years I don't have children (out of choice) and I do get really fed up of people asking me why I don't have kids or when I'm going to have kids.... but I'd see that as a little different, as there comes an age where clearly people either don't want kids or are having severe trouble getting pregnant, so it's not a good issue to bring up in conversation. So maybe people who don't have a partner feel the same way...what do others think?

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 07-04-2003 - 12:55pm
My parents rarely ask me about boyfriends anymore, and I'd prefer it that way. Even if I am dating someone, I don't tell my parents about him until I think it's going to last awhile, so if my mother asks, I can't lie and then I end up telling her about a breakup a few months later. So it's just better if she doesn't ask.

Usually, if I want my friends to know, I'll tell them. No one really needs to ask. There may be a few people out there who just love that dating question, or maybe some more that don't mind it, but I think the majority of us really don't appreciate it. I don't feel written off at all when no one asks. I feel more like they see me as more than a potential wife to someone, which is exactly what I want.

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