What's your "sell-by" date?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
What's your "sell-by" date?
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 5:35pm

It occurred to me today that rejecting all approaching men is just downright silly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 8:27pm

Sorry but I just can't imagine myself as being so desperate that I'd want to hook onto any available man just not to be alone--and I'm older than you.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 8:37pm
In some way I believe that the older we get there is not only somewhat a certain realistic resignation but a maturation of how we view others as potential partners.

There was a woman I met at a mingler who told me that she was not looking for anyone. I was not attracted to her and told her that's OK for I am not either. I had a coffee with her afterwards for I was interested in what she was exploring in her life. From that meeting, as I got to know her better, I felt incredibly drawn and attracted to her.

I recognize there is no such thing as "perfect" and looked for "good enough" for if there are certain key qualities and values in the other person then I want to make it work. I see every close relationship as an opportunity not only for joy and happiness but for growth as well. I recognize that growth can come at a price of anger, pain, and discomfort which is OK if the foundation of love and trust and compatibility is there.

Good for you Marina for experimenting with your choices and testing yourself. I wonder how you let go of the things that bother you in the first place?

BTW, I find a woman the most attractive in the morning. Maybe it is because of that time spending the night together or the mutual waking up time or just we both have our authentic selves revealed at that time before we are awake enough to have our defenses up.

It is not about the looks for once I am in relationship it is the quality of her energy and heart that holds my attraction.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 10:24pm

Those are some very nice sentiments, Mark.

I think when we aren't so much looking for "the one" and are open to meeting other people in general we can have the benefit of a lot of interesting experiences--maybe not every single person will be one that we would want to have a romantic relationship with, but it doesn't mean there is no value of meeting them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 10:35pm

well? I am a bit taken aback my dear Marina by your heading.. Sell Date?? Or maybe I am a bit stung by it..as is my favorite saying.

So I am 57 and I guess I have expired then.. (lol) and should be in the old stale bread section of the grocery store and be put on sale for the day..??

Anyway; No; I believe that you are way too young and smart for this sort of thinking..

I on the otherhand should start to look to settle but alas there is no one around to settle with??

Six months is way too long for an experiment.. Maybe six days would be better (lol)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2009
Fri, 10-14-2011 - 2:41pm
Interesting idea, because I don't have children and I want them and the window is closing, it might be a consideration for me. Off the top of my head I would psychologically pick age 39, 8 months from now. Yikes, that's soo soon!
Lately, I have been very unmotivated to go on OLD, its not appealing anymore and I have been burned. I guess its time to work on motivating myself to really try in earnest. As you all can tell, I have had no curent suitor stories I just read your stories. Its time I get in he mix, huh?
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Fri, 10-14-2011 - 5:28pm
My eggs definitely have a sell by date, but I don't think I have one. People are still lovable, no matter how old so I don't think anyone should give up or settle just because of a number...as long as those shriveling eggs aren't involved. When they are, which is my case, I suppose you have to be more open to a wider range of acceptable flaws.