When to call?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
When to call?
20
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 1:41pm

I want to play on Shy's post some . ..

Roll play, we meet at a party on Friday night, great conversation, dance a little maybe and I take your number . . I am very interested in you . . .and got the impression you felt the same way . . .when is the right time to call? (-:

Seems to be such a science to this. ((-:
The Marine in me just wants to say "charge" . .. LOL

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: elwood1960
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 3:49pm

Sunday or Monday. I'm so sick of men who wait too long. Yes, I do think he's not interested if he doesn't call soon.

Also, when you do call, ask for a date - specific time/location. No, "Hey, we should get together sometime." Define 'sometime' and it's all good.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: elwood1960
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 3:52pm

>>Oh and that brings up something else--do NOT call and fail to leave a message. <<

YES! Some of us (ok, me) don't have cell phones or caller ID. If a guy calls, I won't ever know unless he leaves a message. I think people assume these days that caller ID substitutes for leaving a message. Even if I had it, it doesn't. Leaving a message is a must.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
In reply to: elwood1960
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 4:31pm

I think her point was more about the caller ID, she sees that I called . .. but did I call to ask her out? To say I don't want to see her after all? Should she call back? Will I? Makes sense. Again something that would not have passed through my simple mind. If the role was reversed, I'd just go ahead and call, wouldn't give it a second thought. (-:

The other thing I never considered, but that seems consistently important is the specific time and day. I was always so busy that my whole life was a seat of the pants experience. (-: Slowing it down some now, but time is still the thing I have the least of. I should be assuming "HER" time is just as scarce.

That is what makes these conversations so interesting, the world can look very different through someone else's eyes.

See how clueless some of us guys are? (-:

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
In reply to: elwood1960
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 4:41pm

Just wanted to add a thought. How often do you guys think you get "sucked into" a bad date just because the guy "knows the rules"? Seems like for the first date at least, you could paint a good picture very easily. Not challenging anything . .. just thinking of people I know and how many first and second dates they get. Players . .. (-: Quantity but . .. . well ever buy a mattress . . . that kind of sales has only 2 expectable outcomes, leave pissed or closed. (-: Exactly how they approach this stuff. I always wonder how the "pissed" half of the equation misses it . .. could be as simple as this conversation .. . they have a clue and simply understand the rules. One of those things that make you go hmmmmm .. . .(-:

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: elwood1960
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 5:18pm

>>I think her point was more about the caller ID, she sees that I called . .. but did I call to ask her out? <<

That's what I meant as well. Even if I had caller ID and saw that a guy called, I wouldn't call him back unless he left a message. It's really up to him to tell me why he called, and I never assume.

I do have caller ID at work, and a guy I'd gone out with called me here recently but didn't leave a message. I waited for him to call again.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: elwood1960
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 5:24pm

>>The other thing I never considered, but that seems consistently important is the specific time and day. <<

I meant to reply to this in my last post, sorry.

Yes, calling on a Saturday and expecting to get a date for the same day is in bad form. Not because I'm a "rules" girl, but because a girl likes to have a little notice and likes to feel like a guy is planning ahead rather than fitting her in last minute. Plus, she likely already has plans - even if those plans are curling up in front of a movie at home. So, yes, calling earlier in the week is far preferable to late in the weekend.

One guy I dated asked me at the end of our second date if he could "reserve" my time the following Saturday. I thought that was adorable - he made it seem like he was trying to beat everyone else to the punch and was already excited to see me next time.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
In reply to: elwood1960
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 5:26pm

Trust me, I am paying attention. (-: I would hate to lose a great opportunity to get to know a great girl just because I made such a silly mistake. (-:
And with one recent exception, (Good talker, not much inside), I tend to have good instincts about what I am looking for these days . . .whish I had found it 20 years ago. ((-: I am just trying to tweak a few details. And you all have been very helpful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
In reply to: elwood1960
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 5:29pm

Your right, what a great way to ask. Mind if I steel it sometime? ((-:

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: elwood1960
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 6:30pm

I've been sucked into a bad first date a couple of times, but not since I was 17 did it go beyond that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
In reply to: elwood1960
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 6:59pm

******I just don't want to waste my time with that kind of drama.******

I’m with you on that. I don’t do drama well anymore . . .to many real problems on the table. (-: Didn’t want to run anything off on a tangent . . .like I said . . specific examples in mind. (-: I think to much sometimes . . .pick it apart and miss the obvious along the way.
Anyway. . . I feel a little foolish frankly that some of the very basic things said never accrued to me. The advice men give is often very different . . make’em wait . . they will be so happy you called they will . . . . . . blab bla bla . . . the only woman I ever did that to was my ex wife, and look where that got me. LOL

Look, for me if I get and survive the first few dates, I will be in a good place one way or another. I am very “different” and it takes time for people to figure me out some. During that time I get to know them as well . . .walls are as challenging to bring down as different is to decipher. (-: I am just 18 years out of practice on those first few dates. Not a terrible thing, and correctable. (-: I have had very few issues with people liking me . . . it is just a mater of in what way.

Not everything is meant to be, if this relationship thing was easy, it would have absolutely no value at all. ((-: Don’t you think?

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