When a crush is friends with your parent
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 03-30-2006 - 2:39am |
Long time lurker, first time poster. :-)
First of all, I'm going to need some advice from you guys about how to proceed with this situation and/or if I'm reading things right...
My parents are good friends with a gentleman who is around my age (early 30's). After hearing my mom talk about how wonderful this guy is and dropping some not-so-subtle hints that we would be fantastic together, I finally met him about a year ago. At the time, we were both in long-term relationships, and although I felt chemistry there, nothing was going to come of it since we were both with other people.
Presently, we are both out of our respective relationships. I usually run into this guy several times a month. Initially, he would give me a kiss on the cheek and a hug (both saying 'hello' and 'goodbye'), but recently (within the past two months) he kisses me on the mouth instead of on the cheek - this isn't a 'passionate' kiss per se, just quick and nice.
I'm very interested in this guy, but I'm letting him take the lead here. Of course, I've been receptive to his kisses and I have given some rather 'neutral' compliments (e.g., I really admire/respect about you, I like your attitude, etc.) - but, I'm still a bit confuzzled as to his intentions. One minute, I'm convinced he's totally into me, and the next, I will talk myself out of it by telling myself that his kisses are 'friendly.' I guess I'm confused as to why he hasn't taken it to the next level and I know that I have to tread extremely carefully because of the pre-existing friendship between he and my parents.
So, I ask you all; should I just wait and see or should I confront him as to the change in our interactions? Is there an explanation for this behavior other than romantic interest? Or am I reading this whole thing wrong?
(By the by, we are both WASP'y folk from the west coast, so this kind of greeting is not part of our culture and I don't see him interact this way with others.)
B.
Edited 3/30/2006 3:40 am ET by barbelo
Edited 3/30/2006 3:41 am ET by barbelo

Heehee - your comment about WASPs really struck home with me. I am from a large and outgoing Irish Catholic family but went to college on the East Coast and it really took me a long time to get used to the differing sense of propriety.
This is a difficult situation that is further complicated by this man knowing your parents. I would say that there is not an easy answer to this without knowing more about how close he is to your parents and how he behaves with other women he knows.
Maybe it's my background talking as well, but I don't think a kiss on the lips is merely "friendly." If any of my parents' friends did that to me, regardless of their age, I'd freak. (Unless of course I were interested in the guy like you are).
Very tough situation in terms of how to proceed. Do you ever have an opportunity to see this guy when you're parents aren't around? Maybe you can invite him out with a group of your friends - to keep it casual - and see how he treats you without your parents in the room.
AJ, enjoying life with C.