When do I tell him....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
When do I tell him....
11
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 3:34pm

I met this guy a few weeks ago (I mentioned him briefly in other posts).

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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 6:55pm

I fear being in your situation, because I don't date guys with kids either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2006
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 4:24pm

Why not say something directly to him about wanting a friend relationship with him the next time he tries to hold hands or something like that. Or the next time he pays, say something like no friend's split the bill! I think you need to be more direct.

Pregnancy ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 4:31pm

Oh yes, say something sooner than later.


"I really enjoy us hanging out. You're really nice/cool/fun, but I'm not interested in children & I can't sleep with anyone I'm not in a relationship with. I just wanted to make sure we were doing the same thing."

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 10:11pm
I don't date men with children either. Just be upfront with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Mon, 04-21-2008 - 9:11am

Thanks everyone for your replies. I told him this weekend and it was AWFUL. I felt awful and

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2006
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 10:45am
haha oh my gosh I have so been there. Just give it some distance, and maybe you will be able to hang out friendwise in a bit of time as he seems like he took it pretty well despite being a bit embarrassed (which is totally normal).
Pregnancy ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 4:45pm

>> It was so uncomfortable I just wanted to move on.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 5:40pm
You are not doomed (yet) but you are getting there. You threw away the good (your ex) and your opportunity at a clean start, in your quest for the perfect.. only to end up with a single father ? At an age where every passing year is crucial, where are you going to be with this guy a year from now, two years from now ? I wont even get into the issue of having children with him and the mess of step/half/quarter siblings..

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Edited 4/23/2008 5:42 pm ET by hillaryh8er
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 11:09am
Oh, :-P !

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 1:01pm

>>>Totally unrelated...you all are freaking me out with the "I don't date guys with kids" talk. I hadn't, either, until recently. It's going well -- but you all are making me think I'm doomed. :) <<<<


Well it's certainly an individual choice.

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