When friends start having babies......

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2005
When friends start having babies......
3
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 3:26pm

Alright ladies......in the last months, 3 women I know have had kids (of course, these women are ALREADY married), 4 more e-mailed me that they found out they are pregnant....and at least 2 more are 'trying' to get pregnant.

WHAT GIVES?!?!?!

I feel like I'm being bombed by these B2 Bombers.....I mean, storks!

I don't 'do' small children and pets for that matter.....I don't have the patience. I've hardly seen any of them preggers.....most live far away. I guess me not 'seeing' them makes it less 'REAL'. But soon the e-mails start coming with photos and 'ooohs and ahhhs' from the previously 'shoes/handbags/clothes' minded women and I'm at a loss for words.

Is there a whole in the ground that I can crawl into? This situation is beyond me.

I'm 28 yrs old and I'm freakin out, frankly......

Children and Marriage are so.........final.

Why is everything on fast forward???

G

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 7:01pm

Why can't marriage and children be a beginning? Or even another chapter. Not necessarily the end.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:12am

I agree. I think marriage and children are just an extension of your life's journey.

That said, they are not for everyone. Just because your friends are in that place doesn't mean you have to be. You can feel confident in your own choices and lifestyle, while still feeling happy for them and their choices.

Most of my friends have been married for several years and have started having families. (I'm early 30s). For me, I definitely want that, so it's hard not to be envious. The trick is to realize that your story is your own, and you are on your own timeline -- no need to compare yourself to others. (I have to remind myself of this daily, but it's true).

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2005
Tue, 11-01-2005 - 11:26am

Here's my random logic on this situation:

Most friendships are generally based on common interests/experiences between two people and how the two people relate to each other. Friendships can fade almost imperceptivity over a period of months or years as the friends evolve and have different life experiences and can't relate to each other any longer. But when a baby comes along, one friend’s interests and priorities shift very suddenly and very dramatically. The basis of the friendship changes abruptly instead of fading gradually, and the friendship seems to end (literally) overnight.

In retrospect, I can't say that I've lost more married friends because of a child than single friends because of diverging interests and priorities. The end just came quicker when a baby was involved.