When were you ready...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
When were you ready...
7
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 8:13pm

How long did it take you to feel ready to date again after a serious relationship ended? I know this is something that varies for everyone, and is dependant on many variables. Whenever I've come out of a serious relationship, no matter how 'right' the break-up was, I've felt exahausted for a few months and not really interested in dating, which is fine by me! What have everyone else's expierences been?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 9:23pm

I was recently dating someone, although it was only 2 months, and right after things ended, I threw myself right back into the dating world as I wanted to just get over things and move on. I've been dating for almost 2 months now (just a lot of first dates) and I'm ready to hang it up for a while. It was a nice distraction but I'm just tired of it all and need a break.

After my first breakup (another 2 months, gee, is there a pattern here?? :) I couldn't even *look* at someone and find them attractive for over a month.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 10:03pm

A counselor once told me to recover for a year for every five years in a marriage/relationship.

It takes a while to heal the wounds and re-establish your boundaries. Give yourself time. Early dating is known as rebounding for a reason.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 9:31am

Took me about a year after E and I broke up to even have the interest in meeting someone.

Now I would like to meet someone, but there are no prospects in view.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 10:37am

Well, I know I'm quicker than most and I can't say it was the best thing, but after my 8-year relationship ended, I began dating only 3 weeks later (I wanted to quickly move on and get into something else) and I'd say I was ready to another serious relationship after about 3 months.

Granted, I can't say I was emotionally ready or truely over what had happened, but I felt I was ready for a new man in my life. It's been over a year and a half later and I still haven't found anyone willing to be in an exclusive relationship with me yet but I'll keep trying for a lil bit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 11:31am

In the past, I've tried too hard to jump right back in the dating pool when a relationship has ended, even when my four-year relationship ended two years ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 1:37pm
After my five-year relationship ended, it only took about two months before I was out there again. Just *dating*, though, nothing serious. I don't think it took very long in that case because I had sort of gone through the grieving over the relationship before we officially ended things.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2006
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 12:05am
It took me 3 years. But now that I am ready, I find that I have no desire too. I find that I can get my needs met outside of a relationship with an intimate partner.