Where are the good men?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2005
Where are the good men?
14
Wed, 09-14-2005 - 10:56am

Ok, so here I am single again. I have been single for a little while now. At first, I was not interested in really meeting men at all, but now I am ready to get back into the dating game. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no idea how to go about doing that.

I have gone to clubs and bars, but the men there seem to be dumb as rocks and are looking only for sex. It seems to be the same if you try online dating as well. Plus, the whole online thing seems alittle weird anyway.

Just looking for some advice, wondering where to find the good guys.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2004
Sat, 09-17-2005 - 7:01pm

HI,

I've become a workaholic like one of the other posters here, but I'm afraid it's more I'm trying to find things to do to avoid the "scene". I'll share some advice I got on one of these boards a few weeks ago:

Stop looking. ALWAYS LOOK YOUR BEST, even when you go to the grocery store! I don't mean load on the makeup. You never know when Mr. Right (and not Mr. Right Now)is going to arrive.

Be friendly and if a guy catches your eye, no matter where you are, smile and say HI! as you pass him.

You never know, he just might say hi back!

Do you like wine? I'm going to a wine tasting next weekend at the urging of a friend. She said last year there was a lot of mingling. Same with Art galleries. Anything you have an interest in, go to a function of that sort, even if it's at the library, or a local ball game. Another friend says if you like football, there are a LOT of single dads out there. (and uncles if you don't have kids, lol)I joined a gym recently too. Lots of guys there.

See, all these "normal" places are there without the bar scene. You just have to live your life as you would. You never know.

Good luck, let us know if you find a hot spot!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Sat, 09-17-2005 - 8:43pm
i have a hard time speaking to complete strangers (without a drink) -- any advice on how to get over this in supermarkets, starbucks, etc.?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2004
Sat, 09-17-2005 - 9:45pm

I'm the same way. My personal ad would read.....shy at first but quick to warm up, lol.

All I can suggest is just start out with Hi, or hello. See what happens. I find it harder to talk on the phone at first, in person is a bit easier, email, easier still,and after a few margarita's.... ha ha.

Usually, if I talk to someone at a store, it's usually a small convienient store, and it's usually in response to something the clerk says! Even if it's not a "meaningful" conversation, it's something, and getting a smile from someone should make you feel good when you walk out the door. Just think that someone is thinking about you for at least another few minutes after you've gone! Feel good about yourself.If you run in to them again, add a few more lines to the conversation, etc.

At the mingles things, like the wine tasting, or whatever, it usually helps if you see someone you know, and can work your way into a conversation, without imposing. That's why I think it's important to go to things you have an interest in, that way the conversation isn't forced. It has to come natural or it won't work. Nothing forced ever does. If it feels right.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Mon, 09-19-2005 - 10:14am

I've tried the grocery store thing. I've even gone to "certain" grocery stores where the demographics are young professionals like myself. To date, no one has spoken to me, except kids.

I haven't had any luck at Starbucks and went to the "hip" ones.

I'll smile and make eye contact and these dudes will look right through me. They don't know what they're missing.

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