where are they hiding???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
where are they hiding???
50
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 1:47pm

For many, many years, I have asked friends and acquaintances if they know any single women. Almost every time they responded by saying everyone they know is married or seeing someone. Often they say they have a list of guys, for whom they are trying to find women. So the problem isn't finding the 'right' woman; it is finding any woman.

So I'm wondering if the women out there have plenty of men from which to pick, but can't find a good one. Or do they have the same problem I have - finding any warm bodies?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 9:12pm
LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Fri, 02-24-2006 - 9:18pm

I can relate to the poster who thinks 40 is "gross" but here's my opinion for the "discussion."

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 9:13am

Ah, I see. That does offer some explanation.

I commend you for being able to answer honestly and not be defensive.
Careful, that might be a sign of maturity. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 3:23pm

As if celebrities are really any better than regular people. I'm sorry - but I think not. Besides, there are plenty of disgusting men and women at all ages. I am 32 and date men in their 40s. Unlike you, I don't like to party like I am in college. My interests are more along the lectures/museums/symphony/charity events line. While I do meet some men my age who share my interests, I meet more who are older. I still have to be attracted to them but there are some really hot men in their 40s (and older) who are in great shape. And there are plenty of slobby men with beer guts in their 20s and 30s - frankly, I tend to see them more in your kind of party scene when I do that on the rare occasion with some friends.

Age is not the issue - it is more lifestlye. But calling someone in their 40s a geezer is just weird to me. It's a perception that I have trouble understanding. I get that older men are not attractive to you (unless they are celebrities), but that does not make them deserving of a derogatory term in my opinion.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 3:38pm

Jules, I think she meant that celebrities tend to be the cream of the crop as far as looks go (or they're supposed to be anyway), so using them as an example of an age group being attractive is a skewed view.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 5:15pm

Thanks for the support.

It's just a personal preference. Believe me, if I ever met a 40 year old guy that looked like George Clooney, Kevin Bacon or Will Smith, I'd be all on it but that has not been my experience thus far. In fact, most 40 and 50 year old men just remind me of my father, so that is where it stops.

When I was a teen, 30 was old to me. Now that I am 28, its not as old, but still seems like a whole new plateau. 40? Way too far down the line for me.

Besides, if there are less 20-something women interested in 40-something men, doesn't this give 40-something women less competition? Cause they can have them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 5:32pm

I just wanted to pipe in and say that I have definitely come across some hot 40 year old's! One who was a marine officer, so sexy, and with whom I had the best physical intimacy with ever--who was also an emotional rock for me when I had family in the hospital and was having a hard time dealing with that.

In general, I don't find myself ready to date 40 year olds, but there are definitely some worthwhile exceptions that come along every so often!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 8:59am

Sure there is...but I've met some pretty hot men of all ages throughout my life - some hotter than celebrities are in person.

My point is that just because a person is over 40, they aren't necessarily gross.

If they're gross, their age has very little to do with it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 9:48am

Yes, you and I have discussed this in the past and I completely understand your point of view on this but I wanted her to more clearly articulate hers. Geezers is a bit extreme to me. If someone calls me a geezer when I am in my 40s, I am gonna knock their block off.

I know that many men our age are not party animals - I just mentioned that because she indicated that she still likes to party. I meet plenty of men in their late 20s and early 30s who really are sick of the bar scene and partying or who were never into it in the first place.

I was not trying to be hard on her (we all know that my tone comes across harsher than I mean it to when I am typing these things) but I want her to explain why she feels this way because I am genuinely curious. It fascinates me how and why we all have such different tastes. I know that it has to be part nature and part nurture but it is still interesting.

You might not like a man in his 40s and I would not want a man in a ten gallon hat (sorry, Stacey!) and it's probably good because things would be really rough if we all had the same tastes. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 10:54am
That's okay, more cowboys for me!

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