Where can I get me some drive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Where can I get me some drive?
8
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 5:26pm

I hope everyone is doing well. It seems there are some crazies loose around the boards. I hope all the regulars around here can hang on to their sanity and enjoy this nice weather we're having (well.. it's nice here anyway).

So anyway... in regards to my topic... as I've mentioned, I'm 35. I work full time and I'm going to school part-time. Which makes me pretty darn busy. And I've been seriously crabby lately because I'm not getting enough sleep and I'm not exercising like I should. I can't seem to find the time or the drive.

I've been doing this now for two years. And I'm exhausted.

So I was in class the other night - it's a four-hour lecture class from 6 to 10 p.m. and I go right after work. By 9 p.m. I'm getting ansy. But this isn't a class where they let you out because you've worked "hard enough." No - you STAY until the entire lecture is over. You get points docked for leaving early.

At one point, the instructor says to all of us, "When *I* went to grad school, I worked three jobs, had two kids to take care of and if *I* can do it, so can you."

My comment was "My mommy told me that 'if your friends jump off a bridge, would you do it too?'"

Seriously, I don't have that kind of drive. I have no desire to work two jobs, much less three. At this point, I have no desire to go to grad school. I just want this BS to be over with.

The only exercise I could squeeze in would be to get to the gym at 6 a.m. and I can't find that drive either.

Honestly, (and I'm reminded of Shy's post not long ago about "excessiveness") I'm pretty happy being an underachiever. :) Darn it, I just want a job to earn a good living. And I want my life back!

Thanks for reading the rantings of an exhausted woman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 6:11pm

I hear you. I don't think overachieving or driving yourself into the ground is a mark of a better person, as your instructor seems to think. I think there needs to be time to just be human, relax, not think, be lazy.

I went back to grad school a few years ago, and was working full time. I also had an hour commute to get to school and back. It was exhausting - and somewhere in the middle of that, my ex and I broke up. I dropped out of school because I was just so tired - emotionally and physically. I was about to crack, so I went back to a steady 9-5 job.

I still would like to finish that degree, but I can say I am happier for taking the break when I needed it.

I really admire you for sticking with it for two years. It truly is hard work - and I think school is harder as you get older (I was 28 when I went back) because you just don't have the stamina of an 18-year-old anymore. At least I didn't.

How much longer do you have?

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 6:22pm
I can relate in not wanting to burn my candles out at both ends. I think you seem to have a lot on your plate already and it is important to have time for relaxation and reflection. It is VERY hard to go to school and work full time and also find time for friends, hobbies etc. I'm finding it hard making time for everything and I'm not even in school. I decided not to get my master's degree for this reason too. No money and no time. Take one thing at a time and if ever you are fully ready for grad school, you will know. I thought I would be but I don't think I ever want to go back. I'm doing well where I'm at and maybe if something were to happen where my company shut down or I lost my job I would consider going to nursing school or clinical research.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 6:50pm

>I don't think overachieving or driving yourself into the ground is a mark of a better person, as your instructor seems to think. I think there needs to be time to just be human, relax, not think, be lazy.<

Geeze I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks like this. Seriously, I think we as a nation would all be a lot happier if we would just take a breath and learn to relax and not be on the go-go-go all the time. I can't get into this overachievement mentality that we as Americans seem to have, and are considered "losers" if we don't have it.

Which is not to say I want to quit school. I don't want to quit or anything - I'm just T-I-R-E-D. (Part of this is stemming from the fact that we didn't get any sort of break inbetween the spring and summer semester. We got three days off and we went back full force. I really needed a REAL break.)

How much longer do I have? Too much longer - I won't graduate until December of 2008 - that is if I don't drop dead first. :)

Your grad school experience sounds exhausting and I can see why you took a break. That would be too much for me. I know people do it, like this instructor I mentioned, but I don't know how. They must have something I don't. But I don't really know if I really want it, KWIM?

Ah - I just need a holiday, dang it!

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 7:02pm
I'd like to go back to school and get my BS but haven't even begun the process so, kudos to you for getting this far! As busy as you are, girl, Dec '08 will be here before you know it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 7:34pm

>As busy as you are, girl, Dec '08 will be here before you know it!<

I know and that's what I keep trying to tell myself. I mean, it seems like only yesterday that I started all of this and that was two years ago.

So yeah, I'll get there but I'll be kicking and screaming all the while! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 11:38am

Had THREE jobs, went to school, AND had a family?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 11:41am

>>Geeze I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks like this. Seriously, I think we as a nation would all be a lot happier if we would just take a breath and learn to relax and not be on the go-go-go all the time. I can't get into this overachievement mentality that we as Americans seem to have, and are considered "losers" if we don't have it. <<

Yep - other countries are much better at relaxation than we are. They have six weeks of vacation - not two. They have siestas. They go out for four-hour, five-course meals and really enjoy their food.

I think there's a lot to be said for having that down time to recharge your batteries.

I hope I didn't imply that you should drop out of school - I definitely don't think that. You are really close - even if it doesn't seem that way now. :) I just wanted to let you know that I do empathize with your being just plain tired.

I hope you get that break and vacation soon!

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 11:51am

>I hope I didn't imply that you should drop out of school - I definitely don't think that. You are really close - even if it doesn't seem that way now. :) I just wanted to let you know that I do empathize with your being just plain tired.<

Oh no I know what you were saying. My BF (being the Mr. Fix-It Man that he is) told me "Well, why don't you just drop for right now and go back in a year or so?" I said, "WHAT??!" Gad, he's such a man. :) In a year or so I would have been done and then I'd hate myself even more!

I read somewhere that Germany has the most vacation time for employees - like six weeks. Wow. I wish I could get six weeks vacation time. :) Maybe I'll have to learn German.