Where do you meet new people???
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| Mon, 04-09-2007 - 1:57pm |
Hi all,
I've been moaning over this to myself here lately and I wanted to ask the group about this.
I'm a 35 year old woman, I'm single but in a committed long-term relationship. I work full time and I go to school part-time so I'm usually pretty busy, but I still try to take time out to do things, go places and see my family.
So here's the main problem bugging me - I have no friends anymore! I've got my BF, and he tries his best, but I know he's getting sick of me bemoaning the fact that I have no one to talk to and he's the only one there - so he gets the brunt of my lonliness. My close friends and I don't see each other. My best friend has both developed a serious drinking problem (so if we DO see each other, he's always smashed) and he's involved with someone, so if he's NOT smashed he's with his SO.
So where do people my age meet others? There are several things I've thought about doing but, honestly, it doesn't seem like it's in the cards for me because a lot of the things that "regular" people do, I can't because, well - I'm not normal, I guess. I don't go to church because I don't believe, I don't have kids, I can't read too many books with my being in school (book clubs are out). So many other clubs I'd be interested in meet on school days. And school - well, most of my class mates are much younger than me or they're married and have kids.
I'm so bored and lonely I've even considered going to AA meetings or something of that sort or getting a therapist just to have someone to TALK to!!

Well, I understand that time is an issue for you, so I'm not sure how well any of these possibilities will work for you, but I thought I'd toss out a few ideas anyway.
~ Dance classes
~ Volunteering
~ Pool/billiards, bowling,
Hey thanks, I was actually thinking of doing the same thing.
And I wanted to say, thanks for the ideas - I'm keen on the bowling thing. Both my parents used to belong to bowling leagues when I was real young; I practically grew up in a bowling alley! So I'm sort of leaning in that direction.
There are Web sites dedicated to helping people make new friends. Meetup, Friendster, Meetin, etc. are all examples. They are all set up a bit differently -- some based on activities, some on interest groups, etc.
Especially if you don't have time to join a club, these can be a good place to start, because you can go to social events and activities when you have time.
I also know a lot of people who join "sports" leagues -- you know, fun sports like dodgeball and kickball where you don't have to be an athlete -- they exist purely for the fun of it and for helping people make friends. I haven't joined one yet, but it's next on my list. I need some new friends as well. :)
AJ, enjoying life with C.
What about a writer's club? A photography club? You might even check out a place like meetup.com to see what kind of clubs/groups there are in your area.
Or just get out there... sometimes I'll just head to a coffee shop and look for someone interesting to start a conversation with (I take a book). I once mentioned to a complete stranger that September 19th was Talk Like A Pirate day. I ended up helping that stranger's husband on his wedding day and becomming good friends with both. It doesn't take much, just an off-handed remark.
Coffee shops aren't always the best place to meet people, but it's a start.
I'm 28 and last year I joined the Jaycees (http://www.usjaycees.org/) last year, they are a leadership training organization for people between 21-40. I initially joined to make some business contacts and ended up making some amazing friends. We do a lot of community activities, volunteering and general outings.
It's very difficult to make new friends, especially the older we get. I would check your paper for local groups that pertain to your interests, possibly church also? (If you go).