Who has tried dating online and what ...

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Who has tried dating online and what ...
15
Thu, 06-12-2003 - 11:05am

Who has tried dating online and what did you think about it?



  • I am currently using a service and love it.
  • I used to use one and loved it.
  • I am currently using one, but am not having much luck.
  • I have used one, but didn't have much luck.
  • I have used one, but am indifferent about them.
  • I have never used one, but have thought about it.
  • I have never used one and probably won't.


You will be able to change your vote.


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Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 5:33pm
Wow! Half of you said that you didn't/weren't having much luck. I always felt bad b/c I didn't have much luck, but I also know that I'm picky and wasn't really interested in most of the guys who posted a profile. I never had many men interested in me, either, though.

I'm starting to think that successful online dating is reserved for those who look really good in a picture and who have the gift of writing about themselves really, really well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2003
Sun, 06-22-2003 - 5:16pm
I tried it and loved it. The website I used prompted us to fill out a whole list of short questions (like non-smoker/smoker, color of eyes and hair). Second, the website had us answer essay questions. I could discern right away which guy was serious and who wasn't. Some guys had 3 or 4 paragraphs for their answers while others had only one or two sentences. I think using an online dating service is a quick way to weed out guys. For me, smoking is a serious thing. As soon as I saw he was a smoker, I clicked on to the next one.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-22-2003 - 5:22pm
How many men have you actually met and dated? Dated for how long?

Most of the men I've dated from online - have been met at interest groups and clubs. The online dating service is full of ugly, shy, fat men. OR really hot men who are just looking for sexual relations. Every guy I've ever dated from there...I lower my physical standards for (hey, its not the end all and be all)...and then their personalities were too shy and timid for my liking.

Let us know when you have your success story!

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 06-22-2003 - 6:04pm
I think they all have the lifestyle questions and then the essay questions. It did help me weed out some guys, but others just lie. It's funny, b/c K was the last guy I dated and we met online. I recently went back and looked up his profile for comparison purposes. I found at least 5 blatant lies. He said he works out 4-6 times a week (it was there when he contacted me too) and he never once did for the three months we were together. He said he's always on time- he's always late. He said he has his bachelor's degree- he actually has his masters. He says he wants kids, but his interactions with them speak volumes to the contrary. He said he attends church weekly- never went once while we were together.

This guy was a nice guy, I just think he was trying to make himself look better in some ways. Who can blame him?

Again, I think there is an elite group that it works for and that's it. I'd also like to hear that success story, cause in my experience, there aren't many!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2003
Sun, 06-22-2003 - 6:32pm
I started emailing with a few guys and found out they were only interested in sex. I noticed a pattern. Guys interested in sex had short profiles. Then I saw this one guy (and I still don't remember who contacted who first). I wasn't attracted to his picture. It wasn't a good picture, but I gave him a chance because his birthday was exactly ONE day before mine, even the same year. We were practically the same age. I was always interested in astrology so that really put me on cloud 9. He also was a runner. That was it, I was in love. I love to go jogging on the weekends but never take it seriously. He was serious about it, but nonetheless, we had something in common. I was so easily attracted to him. I was like "this has to be a dream." To top it all off, we both studied business in college. It turned out that I did my senior project on a profile of a CEO who hired a consultant. This guy who I met was a consultant. We had the best conversation on our first date. He was so eager with questions. Later on I found out he worked for a huge financial company and lived in hotels because he was in NY working on a project for his client. He gave me his business card and I checked his company on the internet. It did have offices in Chicago and New York. He said he was looking for an apartment, but anyway, I was 25 years old and a virgin. He was my first. I knew him a month. Now I realize I was so foolish but I thought it was perfect. Once I consented, he stopped taking me out to dinner. There was a movie I wanted to see at the theatre and he suggested watching HBO at the hotel. I was flattered that he found me attractive, but hec, not like that. Oh god, I was so foolish. The last time I saw him was after Sept. 11th. My neighbor's relative had a 5 month old daughter and lost her husband in the attack. He worked at Cantor Fitzgerald. I don't know why I told this guy that minor detail of where he worked, but I did. I told him how I felt so bad that this beautiful baby (who I saw at my neighbor's house) would grow up without a father. He said something to the effect of her father's life insurance policy like "She's going to be rich when she grows up." I got so mad at him. He apologized and said he would call but never did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sun, 06-22-2003 - 8:22pm
i recently went out with a guy i met online and we got along great on aim and the phone and when we met had a good first date, rocky second one and then the last one he just went flaky going on about how he hasn't fallen romantically for me in three dates but i think those website put so much pressure and unrealistic expectaions they make it tough to have something work...i'm not saying they are bad but just i'm not convinced on them yet
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2003
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 7:03pm
I currently have a personal ad posted on-line and have gone out on a couple of dates. One guy looked nothing like his picture and acted completely different than he did than when we chatted on AIM. Needless to say, I have been trying to avoid him. The other guy is nice enough but doesn't live to close to me. It has taken me a while to tell people where I meet my dates and even though some of the men who have responded to my ad have been creeps, I am going to keep trying because, heck, I am normal enough, so there has to be some nice men out there also who post ads!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-23-2003 - 10:34pm
"Every guy I've ever dated from there...I lower my physical standards for (hey, its not the end all and be all)...and then their personalities were too shy and timid for my liking."

well, of course they were shy and timid! outgoin' guys certainly don't need to use an online dating service to meet women! ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 06-25-2003 - 10:08pm
I am really biased towards on-line dating. Two years ago I met a man through match.com who is now my husband. In our first phone conversation we discovered that we lived a block away from each other. We also discovered many other amazing things we had in common and it was barely two months later that we started discussing marriage. He is a wonderful man and we are very blessed in our marriage, and continue to grow and discover each other every day.

I found pleanty of losers on the site, but before I met my husband I went out with a few other guys who were really nice and fun to be with. I think a lot has to do with the site itself and the kind of discretion you give to the responses you get. I found it to be a fun way to communicate with other guys before actually going out with them. You can tell a great deal about a person by the way they write a letter.

Good luck if you continue...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Thu, 06-26-2003 - 2:42am
How do you spell SUCCESS? It worked out great for me. I have dated at least 25 men online. It's a GREAT way to get to meet men and target practice for what you are really looking for. I never posted MY picture. It's hard for me to be mean (honest, truthful) and blow people off so it was best for me to approach men and then if they were interested, we would take it from there. I only contacted men based on their picture, education, if they had teeth (haha), dressed nice, could write, spell...

You need to assume all men want sex. So knowing that to start with I knew that I didn't want to allow it to lead there. Us women pretty much control things in that category I think. Don't discuss it early on or a guy will get the wrong idea.

Anyway, I got better and better at judging a man online.

Finally, when I was really seasoned at it, I posted at Christian Cafe.com I had to post to get a match. Someone found me. He pursued and I tried to blow him off. He continued. I relented and ended up calling him. At the end of the week he asked me out. I went, and the rest is history. We were engaged 6 months later and married 3 months after that.

The key, I believe, is realizing that men will pursue you until you have sex. At that point, they may very well drop you like a hot potato. Men love the hunt. Once its over, its over.

If you go into it with your eyes wide open, you will do better at the game.

Also, my husband and I are 49 and 55 and have much better intuition then when we were younger with relationships and what we were looking for in a mate.



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