Who pays the bill?

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darkeyedgal
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2011
Who pays the bill?
15
 Sun, 12-04-2011 - 11:40am
Was out on a double date with the guy I've recently started dating. My girlfriend and her date were taken aback (she told me later) when my date and I split our share of the bill. I've been doing this since we started seeing each other a month ago. He and I went out again and had a wonderful time, and I mentioned my friend's comment. His response was - "well, you and I were in the friend zone then". So I said "I wouldn't want you to pay for everything because then we wouldn't be able to go to a lot of nice places which I enjoy, but I also enjoy being treated." We have a few more dates coming up so I guess I will see what happens. As a feminist I think equal is better, as a woman I feel it's nice to be taken care of on occasion. Your thoughts ?

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cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: darkeyedgal
Re: Who pays the bill?
 Mon, 12-05-2011 - 12:52pm

"This is more 1950's thinking than modern times."

freeatlast2008
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
In reply to: darkeyedgal
Re: Who pays the bill?
 Mon, 12-05-2011 - 3:43pm

Yes; it is almost 2012 and I do agree with the sharing part but right now I have very limited income and If I miraculously start dating someone I cant pay.. Well? maybe for a cheap date..

Until I find more income or a job (another miracle) I am looking at free stuff if the guy cant pay.I would hope and think a guy who is over 50 should have some kind of income and be able to pay for dates.. I am very frugal and not over the top at all so it wouldnt be expensive dates.. or maybe the guy is in over his head with alimony and lost all of his assets to his wife.. who knows??

I mean for an example if I go into the city (Manhattan) its like a 100 dollar day with train, food, entertainment. times that by 2 and its of course a 200 day.. What guy has that kind of money to spend on a date.

No wonder men dont want to date.. (lol)

true_blue_strine
Community Leader
Registered: 12-22-2007
In reply to: darkeyedgal
Re: Who pays the bill?
 Mon, 12-05-2011 - 4:02pm

>>No wonder men dont want to date.. (lol)<<

Actually, this is quite a true statement.

darkeyedgal
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2011
In reply to: darkeyedgal
Re: Who pays the bill?
 Mon, 12-05-2011 - 5:25pm
Love this board! Such thoughtful and varied responses. My real life friends also can't articulate an exact rule for how the money part of the dates should be handled although most say that the man should pay for the first few dates. Only one friend as I mentioned holds to it that the man always pays. She is dating someone who does pay, but she has many, many other problems with him. In my current dating situation, I am past the first few dates time frame and we have been splitting the bill from the first. Anyway, I will wait and see what happens going forward.
shywon
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: darkeyedgal
Re: Who pays the bill?
 Mon, 12-05-2011 - 8:51pm

I think that's part of the problem- there are no "rules" that anyone can agree on.

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