Who wants a twinkie?

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Who wants a twinkie?
27
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 10:40pm

Okay...I do want to eventually get married.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 2:55pm

Defensive IS...as Defensive DOES, shyone!

PG is gonna drop out of this thread after commenting on your last paragraph:

"IF I CAN'T GET OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP WHAT I WANT FROM IT, THEN WHAT'S THE POINT? I'M NOT GOING TO WASTE MY TIME MAKING SOMEONE ELSE HAPPY WHEN I'M NOT EVEN HAPPY MYSELF. IT HAS TO BE MUTUAL...."

After reading the above....my only question to you is: "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT ANY RELATIONSHIP YOU'RE IN...TO BE "MUTUAL?" I got the impression that your needs (in any relationship) are considerably more important than anybody else's!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2005
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 4:15pm

In all fairness, since Shy echoed my sentiment: I do believe she is saying her needs and wants should MATTER. She should not have to accomodate and compromise for the man so much that her needs get swept under the carpet. All that would result from that would be resentment and an unhappy relationship.

I will let Shy reply herself, of course; I'm sure she wants a relationship to be mutual. But my understanding is that she simply doesn't want to be a self-effacing doormat.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 8:07pm

You forgot to read the last five words, PG.


I'm not getting defensive.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 8:18pm

I had a nice long reply typed out to you and iVillage ate it and I don't feel like it's worth the time to retype.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 3:13am

>The bottom line is that I don't ask for anything I can't offer.
>I think we should all do the same.

What makes you think "we" aren't? Are you actually suggesting that "fat" men should only ask for "fat" women and "stupid ugly" men should only ask for "stupid ugly" women? Does this mean that bald men should only ask for....hmmmmm

What should I offer a woman with long blonde hair and hourglass figure (A "Hottie")? Money? Mutual respect? Perfect physique? Hair? Honesty? Loyalty? Fancy Car?....What is the price of such a woman?

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 10:02am

You are focusing WAY more on looks and weight than I ever would.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Sat, 08-20-2005 - 11:31am

Shy,

>You are focusing WAY more on looks
>and weight than I ever would

That's because I don't want to be a hypocrite who ostensibly professes that looks are not important.

>could probably make a few changes (like bathing, shaving, etc.)
>and still be someone that I would date IF he met the other criteria.

I am the same. In most cases diet and exercise are the only changes necessary but I would be lynched for saying that.....wouldn't I?

>My main focus is on intelligence and lifestyle.

Ok. But if you are not physically attracted to someone you wouldn't care about either and THAT is my point. You said that you don't find anyone over the age of 35 attractive. You are excluding a group of men based on ONE factor that has NOTHING to do with intelligence or lifestyle.

>There are plenty of men out there that meet my criteria....
>I just have trouble actually meeting them.

This isn't an entirely unique predicament.

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