Who we want to be VS. Who we are
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Who we want to be VS. Who we are
| Mon, 04-07-2003 - 3:48pm |
This w/end my sister-in-law said, "when you have your baby" and I knew it was true. I am, someday going to have at least one child of my own. Anyone who sees me with kids can tell!
And I thought about the hassles with my sister and how would I react if my sister wanted to take my children places. Would I react out of bitterness and say no? Just for the sake of "getting her back" or would I be the person I want to be...full of forgiveness and love...and let bygones be bygones?
What situations do you find yourself in where you see do/say/react in a way that is consistent with who you are...but inconsistent with who you want to be?
Go.
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Did I make sense, or is that a jumbled mess??
that's easy. whenever my emotions affect the way i act.
ie. when i'm around people i don't know, when i get upset during an argument, when i'm with a large group of people, when i hit a lousy shot in golf, etc...
i wish i had a way of toning down my emotions - i find they get in the way, sometimes.
After a long day,with lots of upheaval...do you scream, yell, curse, or throw fries at the cop that pulls you over even though you believe you didn't run the red light, not really? I doubt it - you're not in jail!
When the boss arrives in a foul mood and denigrates your report even thought it is precisely presented per his request, do you point out what an a$$ he's being? I doubt it -you're still employed.
IT's just that you've certain "facets of life" or "situations in generalized terms" where you've permitted your emotions to dictate your actions. That MIGHT stem from you not acknowledging your feelings or downplaying them in order to "make yourself act right" at the angry boss or cop on the street. Which is what has you "letting loose" in safe environments, situations, and relationships.
Always acknowledge "how you feel"...and realize there are at least 60 different separate 'emotional states'. Learn to reocngize each one.....we tend to lump them together into categories and so we're alwasy "mad, sad, or happy, or hurt"...we're rarely disgruntled, disillusioned, or remorseful, or elated - you get the idea. And then, while acknowledging how situations make you feel - realize that situations are where feelings come from. So feelings aren't facts, or goals, or to be used to determine what to do in situations to get a desired result. You've got to acknowledge the feelings, so you can address the facts logically to get a desired result if that is possible, so that your feelings turn around for the better.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com