Why is this??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Why is this??
2
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 6:48pm

Not really the correct forum for this I guess but here goes anyway...

Can anyone enlighten me as to why it's perfectly okay for a boyfriend to criticize his girlfriend on what she's wearing (not in a mean way, but it's still criticism), to tell her he'd like her to be "more feminine", and so forth... but god forbid if SHE says anything of the same sort, because she's trying to "change" him?

So why is this?

And why is it that a lot of men want their women to be Bond women, speak three languages, be no bigger than a size 2, have multiple academic degrees, cook like Betty Crocker, dress like fashion models and so forth... but they themselves can't even pick up after themselves, wear the same sweater for weeks at a time or do their laundry more than once every six months?

Hmmm? Men - care to comment?

Edited 12/10/2005 7:16 pm ET by emdeesea




Edited 12/10/2005 7:44 pm ET by emdeesea
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
In reply to: emdeesea
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 8:09pm

GENERALIZATION!

I have a girl friend who fits more the description of the Boyfriend in your post.
I met a guy online who is tidier and has more higiene than many of my girl friends.
Some men can put conditions simply because they are allowed to. If he keeps criticizing you and does not accept your critisism... he must have felt a bit of superiority. Let him feel he is not and that you can replace him any time you feel like it.
I m sure he will chill a little:)

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: emdeesea
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 1:44pm

Where did you get the idea that it's "perfectly ok" for a guy to do this? I disagree strongly that it is. A good partner is someone who accepts you AS IS. They might *request* a change (I do think that's acceptable), but if you decline, then they need to either accept you as is or move on.

If a partner kept criticizing me over something I didn't want to change I'd tell him he has those two choices: accept me AS IS, or move on.

Sheri