Why Am I ALWAYS Single????
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|Sat, 05-25-2013 - 11:34pm|
I am wondering why I am always single. I had one relationship that lasted a few months two years ago and before that no one serious since I was 14. I am 28 years old, Af-Am, college-educated and (I'd like to think) fairly attractive (a curvy size 8 just so you get the picture). I barely dated in high school and in college. Mainly, I focused on school and very little on the social aspect (I wasn't well liked by other black girls). Only a few times did I get hit on by classmates in those years. And now, I get hit on a lot but mostly by old men and creeps. I can't walk the street without getting, "Uh-uh you look good girl!" yelled at me. Honestly, this hurts my self-esteem. In the past year, I realized that I when I have dated guys I usually dated more jock types, hip-hop types or bad boys because they approached me when no one else was. Much of my issue with those guys was that I had nothing in common with them. I am creative, an avid reader and prefer cultural pursuits over a sports bar. I work in the fashion industry, so meeting men at work is a problem. I sometimes meet creative men but they never seem interested in me (I think my style is too Kate Spade preppy with a fro and they like really artsy-looking girls). At least they never reach out to me. I have dated outside of my race and a couple of times gotten something promising but mostly its been the other race version of jock/hip-hop/ bad boy types. I've been hit on by Eminem wannabes and Jersey Shore types. I dated a few guys (Af-Am and caucasian) that had assumed I should be a certain way, since I am Af-Am and I seemed to disappoint them. I am definitely my own person, which I am accepting that more and more (I went through a lot of obstacles growing up).
Unfortuntely, as I date online or in the real world I still get ignored. I have photos of me with my friends who are incredibly diverse, I have a hipster's taste in music, and I mention that I am in a trivia league. I should be able to find someone! Yet I only get messaged from weirdos, guys without shirts, and thugs with "some high school education." My messages to guys tend to go unanswered.My attempts at real world dating is joining young professional leagues for trivia, bowling, corn hole and bocce ball. I just meet more girlfriends at those.
Does anyone have suggestions?