Why am I such a dork???

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Why am I such a dork???
5
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 10:59pm
Some of you might remember me referring to "cute guy upstairs" before as being noisy, yet adorable. He moved in about a year ago, and I've yet to introduce myself. I know his name b/c a friend of mine met him the day she moved in. Since then, I've discovered his roommate is the loud one. He's actually a very good neighbor!

So somehow, over the past month, cute guy has become incredibly HOT guy upstairs. Usually, I hate facial hair, but on this guy...ohhh boy! Not to mention the adorably friendly dog he always has at his side. I hear them coming down the stairs and I think hmm..time to check the mail/take out the trash/check the paint on the walls.

But, everytime I see him, I can't think of anything to say other than "hi". I can play with the dog and smile...and that's as far as I get! I feel like a 16 year old again...but that's nothing new!

So give me some ideas. What's your best opening line? Give me some goodies, please! I've already done "hi" and "cute dog". He just smiles and says "yeah" or tells the dog to quit jumping on me.

I'm not thinking of dating this guy or anything. His hottness probably puts him way outta my reach. A little flirting I wouldn't mind, though!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 10:50am
Well, I'd lose the attitude that he's "way out of my league" - but that's just me. I mean, with that attitude the type of 'flirting' you'll be doing is 'fat girl' flirting. Before anybody jumps up and down - I used to be one - and I can say that!

It's where you offer to "pick up their laundry - you're going downstairs anyway" - with the hope that when you drop it off he'll be nice enough to invite you in for a coke, or offer you a sprite and you'll get to stare at him while sipping your drink - and he is talking with some hottie on the phone about what they're going to do tomorrow night - that is "so way out of your league".

Don't flirt like a "fattie"...flirt like a hottie! All fattie flirting gets you is more work, chores, responsibilities, and obligations...it doesn't you get noticed, appreciated, admired, or desired as anything but a work horse.


Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 11:45am
Flirt like a fattie? Where did I say that? When I do flirt, I do it well. It's just getting things started that is my problem. When I say outta my reach, I'm being realistic. If he were interested in me, he'd have already said something after a year. I just want to work on approaching men, and one that I see almost everyday seemed like a good place to start.

Geez...I try to ask a fun question....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 12:26pm
Well, flirting isn't that hard....especially if realistically you don't believe it's going to go anywhere.

My gosh, if it's going to go nowhere -you can afford to be dramatic and large and supercharged - no subtle approach required.

When you next see him in the hall and he's carrying groceries - make it a point to go up, peer in the sack and ask "what did you buy me for dinner?"

When you see him coming in from a run or a workout - walk past and demurely whisper "God, I love the smell of sweat in the morning."

I mean, get creative - that's the whole point of flirting.

A year ago I realized something, I'd categorized 9/10th of the guys in my world as "out of my league" - and therefore I was doing nothing of merit, of interest regarding "being a girl", or even accepting any acknowledgement from them other than "business related" hellos, or training or racing agenda items for discussion and review. I had no "funsy" girly stuff on my boats, my bike, my helmet, or on my butt as it ran down the street as being printed on my gym shorts. I was interacting with them from my impression that they were "out of my league" and therefore I wasn't entitled or had any reason to be flirtatous, fun, or in any way other than helpful, instructive, informative, and then "I was dismissed" once my necessity was no longer in play. And from that perspective - why would they flirt with me, or why would they see me as "anything but an amazing athlete, great organizer, very helpful and knowledgeable person."

That changed...I didn't do it too fast, water unanticipated and rushing too fast is going to result in falling out fo the boat and going for an undesired swim....but....I showed up with a little "fake" tattoo on my bicep - that got some "male attention". I didn't "explain" it either. I showed up with a new requirement - I HAD, MUST, WILL, WOULD ALWAYS shower after a session or race - prior to any discussions, collaborations, or congratulations. I found a sticker that said "Girly Girl Racing" - and it is in hot pink, on the solo boat. I threw a few raised eyebrows while strutting off into the equation to "outrageous" statements...and I made it a point that everytime someone pointed out to me that "I did "X" like a girl" (because I primarily race against men) I provacatively said "Everything I do is like a girl...sometimes it's alike good girl, and sometimes it's like a very, very, very good girl." Whole different attitude today - from the same people - about who "this woman" is. (Side note - don't sleep with any of them - that gets around!)

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 1:22pm
Now *that's* what I'm talking about! Now that you mention it, though, I've never seen him with groceries- ever!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-26-2003 - 1:35pm
So what's wrong with........"I've decided you must be growing a garden in your apartment, I never see you with groceries and surely you eat to maintain that gorgeous physique."

Flirtation is an artform...and truly, flirtation is something you either do all the time, everywhere - or it's something you "reserve" for someoen that you're interested in and hoping to further an interest and liason with.

If it's a lifestyle for you - you'll do it with the hottie 19 year old cashier at McDonalds - while your little child is clamboring for a happy meal. You'll wink at the 60 year old man who compliments your hairstyle.

I used to be a "reserved for someone" flirt....I didn't flirt unless I was interested in more, and as a result - my flirtation wasn't really flirtation - it was "invitation". It was strictly relegated to "making you think about more, with me"....and it involved intimate contact of touching hands or something like that - making it something you wouldn't want to do with a perfect stranger.

But flirtation is your way of saying "you're a hottie - hope you know it and feel good because someone else does too"...and you have to take "being flirted with" - just that way as well.

The more you truly flirt - rather than "invite" - the more fun it is - and it's a step back from the pressurized window of "dating and relationships". IT lets you know that more than one person in the world thinks you're a hottie, a cutie, a whizkid, a hotshot....and no matter why they think that, they do - and that always feels good to know. And that allows you to be more objective and discerning and less stressed and pressured when considering and dealing with others in a romantic way.

But...if you sub in self-confidence because other people think you're great, hot, smart, cute, fun, sexy, witty and intelligent for you believing that - you really do get in trouble really quick.



Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com