Why are men such "visual" creatures???

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Why are men such "visual" creatures???
Fri, 08-10-2012 - 10:05am

Hi All,

First I wanted to post a brief update on my situation.  I'd posted about a bad landlord situation.......I gave her my notice and I am moving at the end of August, to a new (dog friendly) building.  First time in a building so hopefully I will avoid the crazy-person-upstairs syndrome!! lol. Wish me luck. :smileyhappy:  Move is in four weeks......all packed.

Anyhow, onto my real topic (I didn't want to post a personal update off topic that was so brief!!) but I'm wondering if you guys have experienced this also.  It seems to me that many guys will go for the "petite good looking" woman over anyone else, even though their personality/intellect may be severely lacking.

I guess there was a guy at the pub where I hang out.......he had often commented on how beautiful my hair is, etc. - we flirted a bit, etc. but it never went further than that (people often observed that they thought he was sweet on me).  At the time, he was hooked up with this girl who was basically totally weird (she actually got barred from the pub for calling the co-owner, who's a sweetheart, an @sshole to his face).  Anyhow.....he seemed to have gotten rid of her........

He has somehow now hooked up with a blonde woman who is a nurse.  Although she is not the type to work out all the time, she basically has a small frame and a pretty face.  Although she is (I'm guessing) in her 40s, she has moved back home and spends all kinds of money on outfits/manicures/pedicures, etc. (I get pedicures and waxing done, etc. but I don't bring it up as a conversation piece and I am more like once every three weeks/month vs. every week).  She also has a new coach bag every time I see her........

So I was at the pub last Friday and she was there with this guy.  OMG....it was embarrassing the way she was treating him!! Making him go and fetch things from the car, talking to him like he was a child.  She wanted to leave and he ordered another beer and she totally berated him in front of other people.  He looked perfectly happy - probably thinking how he was going to get laid that night!! lol.......but I figure it will be about a year before he figures out that this woman is essentially.......(I don't want to use the word!)........not a nice person.

Anyhow.......the conclusion could be made that I'm jealous, and I am a bit.  I didn't have a crush on this guy or anything, but I've been here all along, while he's managed to date two totally mean women.  I am moving too so I will likely not see this situation play out for much longer (thank goodness!!).

No insult to the men on here........I know not all men are shallow.......maybe it's pub guys (which I strongly suspect).  They seem to want that girl-who-looks-good-in-spandex, vs. the woman-who-will-treat-me-with-respect-and-kindness.  I'm sure there are women out there who are the same way.......

Hmmpph!! I think I am going to stay single forever........ :smileyhappy:

Cheers everyone,


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I'm glad to hear that you got a new place to live--hopefully your LL's next tenant will play loud music all night or something like that.

Yes unfortunately I think a lot of people focus all their attention on looks and not so much on everything else.  I admit up to a point I would go for looks but when it comes down to the guy being a jerk, the looks wouldn't be enough to compensate for being mistreated. 

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
I've actually talked about this with a couple of guys the past two days. I flat out told my guy friend he's shallow. He said he doesn't want to settle, but he's fine with the crazy girls. It's looks that matter to him even though he's not all that attractive. The other guy is one who is interested in my sister, but wasn't assertive enough and another guy swooped in first. He was telling me about this girl he liked awhile back and how he tends to find the crazy ones. I told him most men like the excitement the dramatic ones bring to the relationship. He agreed.

I think a lot of guys have this ability to let the mean stuff those women do slide and just laugh it off, whereas women don't do that as well. If a guy pulled that on us, we'd be ticked!
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
"....it was embarrassing the way she was treating him!! Making him go and fetch things from the car, talking to him like he was a child. She wanted to leave and he ordered another beer and she totally berated him in front of other people. He looked perfectly happy - ... "

Not all men like demure little kittens, Mel. Perhaps her aggressiveness is some sort of a turn-on for him. Of course, you could also be correct in that, he's getting what he wants at the end of the night so, he doesn't mind being her minion for a few hours.

So glad you are moving! Already packed? I'd be packing up the last item the night before or the morning of . . . you're on the ball, girlie! Good luck with the new place!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
Mel, congratulations with the new place to live! Glad to hear that you got away from that landlord...

I have felt the same. Especially when I was younger, and I never got a boyfriend (or anything even remotely like it). But seeing now that so many different types of both men and women (thinking sizes and general appearances) are hooking up with someone, I am now beginning to doubt it. And thinking, why cannot I find someone, when those people can?!
But then again, that might have more to do with my inferior complexes than anything else...
I am just a normal-looking girl and have never had confidence in my looks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2012

Mel, did you ask him out?  Maybe it's as simple as she did and you didn't. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002


No, I never did ask him out.  As far as I knew, he was tangled up with the first weird one......given that he had a girlfriend I didn't want to disrespect that.

Not major feelings or anything......he definitely had some quirks (we all do, but he definitely had a few, which a couple people warned me about)................no big deal really.....just can't understand how he can sit there happily while the "new girlfriend" treats him like a 2 year old in front of a bunch of people......

To each its own I guess.  I was actually going to go in to the pub yesterday afternoon, but she was so obnoxious the last time I was in, I figured why bother hanging around for a ring side seat to that!! lol. :smileyhappy:

Thanks for listening to me vent.