Why are people intimidated by attractive

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Why are people intimidated by attractive
17
Fri, 07-20-2007 - 6:14pm
...members of the opposite sex, or consider them to be "out of their league" ?


Edited 7/20/2007 6:16 pm ET by c2shiningc

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 2:41am

The reason (many) people are intimidated by attractive members of the opposite sex is -- quite simple actually -- for FEAR OF REJECTION. Few things hurt as much as hurt egos. Speaking for men at least, when we see that knock out babe go by..there is that immediate burning desire, along with despair because of the certainty of rejection. So they(we) give up even before trying but continue to ogle at her from a distance. If the babe is a knock out and confident on top of that, the intimidation is even more severe.

Then there is the follow up question. Why do we fear (both men & women) that we are likely to be rejected by very attractive people of the opposite sex(being 'out of our league'), thus leading to intimidation? Mind you, the word is 'fear'. There may or may not be any justification to it.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 11:27am

Okay- I'll answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 11:52am
I think you hit the nail on the head, fear of rejection is probably the most common reason. I know when I was dating, I got intimidated by attractive men, thinking that they automatically have a lot of dating options and women to choose from. I would think that I would be in competition with those women and I didn't want to be one of many that they were choosing from or maybe not even being one of their choices at all. I guess it's because of some insecurity issues. Most of the time I wouldn't go for the really attractive guys, but I would go for the above average types. Also, I have noticed that a lot of the good looking men have cocky egos to go with it, and to me that's a turnoff when they think that they are all that and a bag of chips.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 12:16pm

Shy pretty much summed up my response by making mention of men seeing the "knock out babe" walking by.

Let's face it... the vast majority of men are not interested in the quality of a woman's heart, her interests, her intelligence, etc. As so many men have stated, "I can't see her personality." So be it. They are interested in the asthetics.

Me... being the NOT-a-knock-out babe that I am, I really won't even consider a man who I consider to very attractive, because chances are, he's not going to look twice at me. And even if the heavens smile on me and the planets align just perfectly, just because he looks at me and goes out with me, I will always wonder WHY he's with me and be wary of him looking for something "better," and I would sabotage myself in the process.

Which is why I prefer to date guys in my own "league." It's partially insecurity and partially inferiority, but it's also reality.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 4:56pm

Why do men make you nervous and if your str8 you shoudn't be intimidated by women no matter how attractive they are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 6:23am
Well being straight doesn't have anything to do with it if she's insecure about herself.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 11:56am

Me... being the NOT-a-knock-out babe that I am, I really won't even consider a man who I consider to very attractive, because chances are, he's not going to look twice at me.
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Without trying to argue the basic truth of this thought . . .how many girls feel like men DON’T approach them for the very reason they are in fact so good looking?

When I was younger I didn’t care, I would approach anyone. Frankly of the number of times over the years I in return got a rude, hurtful, belittling response from a woman, 99% were attached to some hot babe “putting me in my place”. So in my case at least I will look over a “hot babe” on sight very often, even if unfairly, just because I “assume” that self absorbed and nasty attitude will be attached. I don’t find arrogance attractive. (-: So for me it is less the fear of rejection, but a disgust of the type of rejection. Polite is easy, the total absence of it so often created a trained response in my case. If I see a girl who clearly “knows” how attractive she is, I pass on sight as I figure there is a 99% chance I won’t “like” her.
Are the experiences of the girls similar?

We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the majority who participate.

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