Why Are We Having Such A Hard Time Fi...
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Why Are We Having Such A Hard Time Fi...
| Sun, 01-29-2006 - 6:31pm |
Why Are We Having Such A Hard Time Finding Someone
- Is it a change in times, people are too fickle?
- Do we have too many options?
- Are more people committmentphobic?
- Are people more career-oriented?
- Is is that not eough people value love and romance these days?
- A combination of the above answers.
- None of the above (please explain)
You will be able to change your vote.

You know, the more I think about how hard it's been for me to get a date and hold his interest for more than a few weeks, I really think things are just dramatically different then they were for people years ago.
It just seems like things are so much harder now and I can't figure out why. Honestly, at 28 I look back at how easy it was in high school and wish it was like that now. I thought it would be so much better at this stage in life and it's 10 times harder.
No one wants to be labled, career comes first, no one returns phone calls, sex is so easy to get, people have friends with benefits, their waiting until their in a better stage of life...I mean al I hear are more and more excuses of why people cannot get involved with anyone right now and I'm just at a loss.
Am I the only one that thinks dating is much harder now thatn before?? And if so, why do you think that?
We're less willing to settle than previous generations. The practical reasons for marrying and having children have gone by the wayside and without that, there's less a reason for finding a relationship for reasons that make sense. Without practicality, we're left with just emotions and we all know how that can hold things up.
I didn't create this theory, I just happen to believe in it.
This is my take on dating.... Dating has evolved, because the culture has changed. It has becomde more acceptible to wait for marriage and work on your career. Dating back in high school was so easy and I have thought about this a lot, too. But it was easy because you were around the same kids day in and out. You were around people who were all relatively all the same age, give or take four years. As teens or early twenties, we did not really take an in-depth look or cared whether or not the person you were with was marriage material. Even though I was with a guy in high school through my sophmore year of college and WE both thought we were going to be married after college. It was just a matter of getting through school. Now that I look back,I thank god I did not marry him. He was a great guy, but he was good for me when I was young. I have since changed into an adult and what was good for me then, is different now. I think dating has gotten more difficult as we get older, because there is more at stake now. Meaning, we want to make sure were with the right person.
I feel we're waiting longer to get married because of careers (more women in the career force) and because of the divorce rate. This is my personal experience. My family made my sister and I go to college. There was no question about it, we just were and we were also the first two people on my mom's and dad's side to get our degrees. Also, there were a lot of divorces because everyone did marry so young. So my sister and I were encouraged not to even think about getting married until atleast twenty-eight. Even at thirty, my family still encourages me not to rush anything. Because they all know getting married young was a bad decision. Thank god my family does not pressure me. I do that enough to myself :) But I like to think, as a culture, our desires and wishes has not changed, but the timing has. I know between myself and my friends, we still want what out parents and grand-parents had, but we're also more willing to wait to get our own lives in order before we merge with another. I think today's marriage beliefs are just as healthy as twenty or thirty years ago, but the timing when you get married has. I cannot wait to see the statistics in twenty to thirty years to see if the divorce rate has gone down because people are waiting to get married.
I think it was easier in high school because you dated for different reasons back then. I wasn't looking for a husband in high school, just someone who was fun to spend time with on a Saturday night and maybe someone who was a good kisser.
The stakes are much higher now that I'm older, and I know what I want. Once you know what you want, finding it becomes more difficult.
I also think society has changed a lot in the past few decades. Our generation is more gun-shy about commitment.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I think you are right. Our generation is very "gun-shy" about commitment. At the very sight of feelings or care, so many bolt.
'You like me a lot? Whoops, that's my time, gotta run!'