Why Are We Not Hooking Up??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Why Are We Not Hooking Up??
18
Fri, 02-09-2007 - 9:30am


I had a conversation with a friend of mine last night, and he stated that he thinks the reason why we (as older adults) are not hooking up is because we “didn’t have good role models” as children. I said I felt it was because too many are selfish (selfish with self and the material), and as grown ass adults, we can’t blame our parents (or lack thereof) on our current situation. He then explained that if a man doesn’t have anyone to emulate as he’s growing up, he won’t know how to be a man now. I told him his “excuse” could possibly be legitimate for the current generation but not OUR generation since we’ve been around long enough to take responsibility for our choices and direction in life. What do you think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 1:22pm

It is not productive for you to continually assail everone with your nened for pity. If anything, the myths perpetuated through "chick flicks" serve to provide women with an non-realistic fantasy, not men. Romantic commedies rarely have misogynistic emasculated pestering juveniles as heroes.

<< whole generation of young men has still been misled into accepting a false reality.>>
I think that is just you.

<> Plenty of guys in our generation do just fine with girls and there have always been guys who have difficulty being attractive.

You are married to the irrational idea that women have this conspiracy against you. You should seek some counciling about this because no one online has been able to connect you with reality.

<>
Are you seriously blaming women for the rise in male eating disorders or depression? I could see blaming marketers who percieve that they can make money by promoting shallow insecurities that cause people to spend money. But women? Get real kid. WHat about the fact that female depression, eating disorders, and suicide are higher and also increasing? Is there a male cospiracy to delude women into false beliefs about romance? Are our leader? You are upset because women won't lower their standards enough to sleep with you. That is not a conspiracy, that is just life.

What are women supposed to like about you? You come off as shallow (you have previously indicated that you only appreciate women for their looks), you are not personally interested in any particular woman, you dislike women and blame them for your problems, you want to use your friendship with women primarily to sleep with them, and you are socially inept (as evidenced by your complete failure to understand the simple social concepts that have been explained here over and over, your admitted pestering of a girl for a date, and your failure to recognize said pestering as annoying.) All of those things are a turn off and I doubt that they are less apparent to women that you meet in the real world than they are to the people that you meet here. You could look like Brad Pitt and you would still not get any.

Improve yourself (that does not mean learning tricks or lines) or stop whining and hijacking every thread with your pet issue. In short, grow up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 1:34pm
I don't think youor the most of the other posters on this thread are making a distinction between seeking an explanation and looking to justify something.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 4:27pm
You can choose to believe all these negative concepts and be a victim to it or you can change your way of thinking and do what's best for you. It's easy to feel like the whole world is against men and you in general but it's a lot more productive to try your best to be true to yourself, make smart decisions and treat women with the kindness, caring and respect that you would like for yourself.
I agree, society has changed a lot recently in yours and even in my generation and we've had to adapt, but not EVERYONE and EVERY situation is the way you describe. You have a choice in the kinds of people you associate with and also the way you feel about yourself and the attitude you potray.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 9:46am

If anything, the myths perpetuated through "chick flicks" serve to provide women with an non-realistic fantasy, not men. Romantic commedies rarely have misogynistic emasculated pestering juveniles as heroes.


Sorry sorry sorry to hijack the thread, but this statement reminded me of a conversation I had with my boyfriend last night as we were watching a movie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 10:18am

I have never liked chick flicks for the most part. And my BF hates them, along with those romantic novels that some women read.

His opinion of them (and I have to agree with him) is that they are porn for women. They provide unrealistic ideas and fantasies of what relationships and life are supposed to be like. Problems occur when women actually go out into the world and try to make those fantasies happen or at the very least, expect life to be that way.

Yeah - sorry to hijack the thread. :) Back to the regularly scheduled program.




Edited 2/15/2007 10:19 am ET by emdeesea
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 2:37pm

"...with the “chick flick” and the “nineties man” and other concepts that basically emotionally and mentally castrate men."


Honey, I hate to break it to ya, but I think you're the one who is "emotionally & mentally castrated". From reading all your posts, you don't get past a woman's looks (we're more than that), and then when she doesn't give you the time of day (BIG sign that she's probably not interested), you go stalker on her and proceed to pester her to death, thereby giving her MORE reasons not to like you. "Chick flicks" and "nineties men" have nothing to do with it.


"Is it any wonder that so many young men have trouble finding girls? Is it any wonder why more young men than ever before are suffering from eating disorders, depression and suicide?"


I don't know about young men having trouble finding girls. Have you spoken to EVERY young man in the world? There are young men who suffer from eating disorders, depression & suicide. Women have this problem too. The numbers for both have risen dramatically in recent years.


Stop acting like the world revolves around you.

Pooh1972


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2006
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 1:03am

hey, I loved your ending - I have been wanting to say that myself to "redonculous" for sometime...so much so that I stopped reading his posting thread for a few days.

In addition to "grow up", I would like to add, "life is tough, your hormones rage in your 20's, and that's life!"

no one hooks up with someone they're not interested in!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 7:51am
I think it depends on the person. Some people are more psychologically vulnerable than others. There are some people that I've known all my life who could never get their stuff together after living through an abusive/neglectful/traumatic childhood. It is tragic but it happens. Some people just fall by the wayside and seem to lack the inner strength to get themselves back on the road. Iri

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