Why are we single???

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Why are we single???
34
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 2:23am
Because they are all married! That's why!

I ended up spontaneously going out tonight to a place I don't go to often. I ran into a guy a graduated high school with (2 hrs away from home) and I ended up hanging out with him and his friends most of the night. He was super shy in high school, as was I, and we've only run into each other twice. We were not friends back in the day. As the night progressed, he got flirter and started telling me how " smokin' hot" I am. Oh, and did I mention he's married? His (also married) friends dragged him out of the bar and he came back, saying he lost his phone. It was on the table, but we couldn't find it. My friend suggested I call it. So I did, not realizing that it could have been a ploy to get my number.

At one point in the night, he told me that he could tell the DJ liked me by the way he looked at me. Also married.

I have another friend who is a DJ that I have chemistry with and we'd be great together. Also married.

So ladies, I've decided. They're all married. That's why. We might as well just assume that if we meet a great guy, his wife won't be far behind!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 9:27am

Am I missing something? How is the example of a married guy in a bar

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 9:44am

I agree with JT and would like to add.. You know that saying?? You are looking in the wrong places Mrs.Goodbar.

oh; and why are you hanging out with married men to begin with?? As soon as they are not available and toxic GET AWAY and run for the hills and dont look back..

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 11:27am
Let me clarify- and I think you know what I mean and are just being antagonistic- you meet a guy that is someone you would otherwise be interested in and he's married. Just because a guy is married doesn't mean he isn't a great guy. How did you come to that conclusion? Now, the guy from high school telling me I am hot was being inappropriate and it was making me uncomfortable, but he didn't start that until we were getting ready to leave. I was hanging out with him because I was being friendly. I see nothing wrong with that. And Free, you've heard me say MANY times that I'm not looking for men in bars. I'm there to hang out with friends and sing.

Geez. Sometimes I get really tired of having to defend myself when some of you judge. Maybe I should go back to not sharing anything again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 12:05pm

I do think there is something to the idea that many many really great guys are married--because they did get snapped up early and because they are great their wives are happy & they stay together.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 12:54pm
Honestly, right now the only way I'd meet someone is through friends, work, or randomly at the grocery store. When my friend texted me last night wanting me to meet her and her husband out, I was just sure it was because there was a guy she wanted me to meet. But there wasn't. She just wanted my company. :-)

I recently read an article that said meeting someone through OLD is no better or more productive than meeting someone at a bar. I have to say- that's pretty much been my experience. I get more attention in person, but there's no follow through either way and everyone is judging you on looks in both places. At least in a bar your body language matters and the guys can take that into account, plus they see they have competition. Online, they don't see any of that.

At my age, all I really meet are divorced guys too. Some of them have crazy ex wives, but I always think- they married a crazy woman, so what does that say about them?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 1:21pm

I know this would be very challenging but have you ever thought about moving to a bigger city or better location ..

Sometimes in small towns there are just not enough single men around and those are the facts..

Or what about going out to some unknown places that you havent been to or are further than you would like to go.. Like say in the next large town or city..or meet up groups for things you like to do..

I think if I didnt live in a huge metropolitan area I would be totally sunk .. Atleast there are divorced people and single people all around me.. Not that I am meeting anyone good but it gives me peace of mind that there are alot of people like me.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 2:49pm

It's funny, we hear all the time about how 50-something percent of all marriages fail, but I've never heard any statistics on what percentage re-marry, or when.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 3:03pm

If not married, they are at least spoken for (living with a woman or engaged). It would be too good to be true if they weren´t, that is what it feels like for me. I can easier "flirt" (but only mildly) with such guys, as there is no "pressure", if you know what I mean? And I would never ever go further than just making conversation and some jokes with them.

Please keep on sharing, Shywon. I really appreciate it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 4:36pm

Honestly I think if you want to meet someone you need to make a little more effort.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 5:36pm
Cfk- I don't really know many single women either, so I'm not sure where they are. I think they are just as few and far between as single men, which is why it's so hard for us to find each other.

Ruby- I do know what you mean by there being no pressure with the taken ones. We can smile and bat our eyelashes, and most of them won't automatically assume we want in their pants. I didn't flirt back with the guy from last night. In fact, at one point I kind of called him on this touchy-feeley-ness. He really was just putting his hand on my back, but he kept petting my hair before he did it! It was weird. This from a guy who was too shy to talk to me in high school. Sometimes I think the taken ones and occasionally the old ones are good practice for the actual single ones. I don't think I've met more than 1-2 single guys in the past year, except the ones I know to stay away from.

Pages