Why are we single???

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Why are we single???
34
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 2:23am
Because they are all married! That's why!

I ended up spontaneously going out tonight to a place I don't go to often. I ran into a guy a graduated high school with (2 hrs away from home) and I ended up hanging out with him and his friends most of the night. He was super shy in high school, as was I, and we've only run into each other twice. We were not friends back in the day. As the night progressed, he got flirter and started telling me how " smokin' hot" I am. Oh, and did I mention he's married? His (also married) friends dragged him out of the bar and he came back, saying he lost his phone. It was on the table, but we couldn't find it. My friend suggested I call it. So I did, not realizing that it could have been a ploy to get my number.

At one point in the night, he told me that he could tell the DJ liked me by the way he looked at me. Also married.

I have another friend who is a DJ that I have chemistry with and we'd be great together. Also married.

So ladies, I've decided. They're all married. That's why. We might as well just assume that if we meet a great guy, his wife won't be far behind!
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 8:08pm

Guys have it as hard.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2008
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 9:21pm

It may be against the rules, but some of us men have standards. I'd be a jerk and a phony if I pretended to love a woman who had traits I can't deal with, and who wants to be with a guy who whines to his gf/wife that he wishes she'd change?

I'd never be interested in a relationship with any woman who I could never bond emotionally with. I have no use whatsoever for a FWB... both partners have to be happy with each other or else it isn't much of a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 12:36am

We are single because, for whatever reason, trauma, disturbance, historical event, birth defect or mental aberration, we all have a deep-seated fear of intimacy.

Just can't sugar coat it anymore - for myself or anyone else.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 6:16am

We are single because, for whatever reason, trauma, disturbance, historical event, birth defect or mental aberration, we all have a deep-seated fear of intimacy.

I've got to disagree on this point. I agree that everyone has ambivalence toward intimacy, but not everyone has fear. Could it just be that a woman is single because she hasn't met the right guy yet?

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 9:06am
I agree with you, FG. I will admit that I'm usually uncomfortable with attention from strange men, but once I get to know a guy I'm not afraid of getting closer. In fact, I got frustrated with my last boyfriend because he wasn't willing to open up more. I don't open up to just anyone, but the right person will make it easy. Non-judgmental guys are hard to find, but they are out there. I've also been ready for a long time now. Most of the men I've met who seem like someone I could be interested in turn out to be married or reveal a huge flaw (like being a huge racist) pretty quickly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 9:59am
Good call, Marina. But you're having fun while you're at it! However, others might just be really, really bad at dating or even social interactions in general to build real relationships, but are really good at finding reasons/excuses to keep their world insulated from
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 10:34am

Sorry but I'm disagreeing w/ you too, Marina.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 10:55am

sorry; but I will agree with Marina and JT.

I have heard too many times on many posts that most of us are afraid to ask a man out or flirt with him or ask him over for dinner or ask him out a second time or we are waiting for him to make the first move and on and on.

Yes; I have been married twice and made committments but we are not talking about the past. We are talking about now and most of us on here are not successful at meeting someone. I included myself because I know there are reasons why I am alone.. Its because I am guarding my heart and I have a hard time letting people in.For that reason I let too much time go by with all my excuses and now it might be too late.. and who's fault is that..My own because I spent too much time on the wrong people and not enough time with the right people.. Think about it..

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 12:42pm

It's not about a FEAR of asking someone out.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 12:47pm

I disagree.

chaika